The Office Season 3 Quotes
Oscar: You're the one who said we needed more culture.
Gil: This is culture to you?
Oscar: It's her first try.
Gil: Yeah, on Van Gogh's first try, he drew the hands of the peasants.
Oscar: Meaning what?
Gil: Meaning, real art takes courage, okay? And honesty.
Oscar: Well, those aren't Pam's strong points.
Gil: Yeah, exactly. That's why this is... motel art.
- Permalink: You're the one who said we needed more culture. This is cultur...
Ryan: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do my presentation, and... of course, I was wrong to suggest that Dunder-Mifflin might ever go out of business. But you don't have to fire me.
Michael: Fire you? No, no no. You are moving... to the annex.
Ryan: To the annex? Where... Kelly is?
Michael: A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people. ... People, Ryan. And people will never go out of business.
- Permalink: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do my presentation, ...
Ryan: It wasn't personal.
Michael: Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world. When we get back to the office, pack your things.
Ryan: Pack my-
Michael: You heard me, pack your things.
- Permalink: It wasn't personal. Business is always personal. It's the most...
Meredith: I really want to come out!
Creed: Good night, Mary Beth!
- Permalink: I really want to come out! Good night, Mary Beth!
Kelly: What are you doing? You'd better not hurt that little bat.
Creed: Animals can't feel pain.
Kelly: Don't hurt that bat, Creed! It's a living thing with feelings and a family!
Dwight: Flush him towards the door. On my go... NOW!
Kelly: KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IIIT!
Kevin: [locks bat in break room] I... am a hero!
- Permalink: What are you doing? You'd better not hurt that little bat. Ani...
Dwight: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions. We form an allegiance-
Dwight: -to use sudden violence.
Dwight: Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake?
Creed: What size?
- Permalink: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions. We form an ...
I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.Dwight
- Permalink: I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunte...
Michael: Okay, I'm seeing some confused... faces out there. Let me slow down a little bit. Break this down. Okay. The more stickers you sell, the more profit, fancy word for money, you have to buy PlayStations and Beanie Babies.
Michael: ...And products!
Ryan: What we normally do here is more of a question and answer thing.
Michael: Well... okay, I was just kind of getting it going. Um, alright. Well, okay, we can do questions. Okay. Very good. First hand up.
Business Student #1: Sir, as a company that primary distributes paper, how have you adapted your business model to function in an increasingly paperless world?
Michael: We can't overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails. But real business is done on paper, okay? Write that down.
- Permalink: Okay, I'm seeing some confused... faces out there. Let me slow d...
Toby: Oh, this looks great. I'd, I'd love to be there, but my daughter's play is tonight. ... Damnit! You know, one of the other parents will probably videotape it.
Pam: Oh! No, you should go.
Toby: Well, it's important to support local art, you know. And what they do is not art.
- Permalink: Oh, this looks great. I'd, I'd love to be there, but my daughter...
If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a "sylvania." Like PENN-sylvania. Now that doesn't mean that Jim is going to become a vampire. Only that he carries the vampiric germ.Dwight
- Permalink: If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to ...
The simple solution would be to open a window... if we had... windows that could open.Toby
- Permalink: The simple solution would be to open a window... if we had... wi...
Michael: Okay, this is it. Ryan is doing my intro right now.
Ryan: ... Dunder-Mifflin can't compete with the modern chains, and management is unwilling, or unable, to adapt. Their customers are dying off...
Michael: I can't hear what he's saying, but he looks like he's really into it.
- Permalink: Okay, this is it. Ryan is doing my intro right now. ... Dunder...