Oh no. Dwight isn't my friend ... Oh my God! Dwight's kind of my friend.

Pam

Michael: What do I write under "reason for visit?"
Jim: Concussion. Why, what'd you write?
Michael: ..."Bringing someone to the hospital."
Jim: Oh, you thought they meant YOUR reason for visit.
Michael: No, you know what? This isn't about me anymore.

Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Dwight: Danger.
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.

Michael: The point is, I am the only one here with a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley's had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled, and neither are you.

Creed: I was in an iron lung when I was a teenager.
Michael: How old are you?

Jim: So where are you shipping your foot?
Michael: Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping...
Dwight: YOUR foot?

The Office Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes

I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me, and since I don't have a butler I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill, then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again, then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's a perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That's it, I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.

Michael

Creed: I was in an iron lung when I was a teenager.
Michael: How old are you?