Stanley: Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.
Michael: Really?
Stanley: Oh yes. Let's listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.
Michael: God. Stanley, that's frickin brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? I'm sorry...
Stanley: Oh, it's OK. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto in fact.
Michael: No kidding?

I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night. What the hell was I thinking?


Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks that it's Friday. Aaaand, that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.


Dwight: Oh, hey. Listen, Jim. Here's a little tip for your performance review.
Jim: Okay.
Dwight: Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double-tabbed manila file folders.
Jim: We don't have double-tabbed manila file folders.
Dwight: Oh yes we do.
Jim: No we don't.
Dwight: Yeah, it's a new product. So you should just suggest that to him, and then he'll be sure to give you a raise.
Jim: All right. Well, I'm not asking for a raise. I'm going to actually be asking for a pay decrease.
Dwight: Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Jim: Then I win.

J - Jim I - Is Jim M - My Name Is Jim.


D - Determined W - Worker I - Intense G - Good Worker H - Hard Worker T - Terrific


Michael: But then she goes on to say "That will be our only topic of discussion." That doesn't mean anything. Those are just words...
Pam: I have one idea of what it means.
Michael: OK, yeah, what, what?
Pam: Well, I don't think you're going to be very happy with this.
Michael: Oh, great. Alright, well, now I'm in a terrible mood. Let's do your performance review.
Pam: Because she's conflicted. She has to be professional but she's fighting feelings for you.
Michael: Why - that's great news. That- that- Why would- why would I not like that?
Pam: Um, just 'cause that you work together and it might be awkward.

Michael: Pam, you're trustworthy.
Pam: Thank you.
Michael: And a woman.
Pam: Oh no.

Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were and it ended with him telling me he could bench press 190 pounds.

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