The Office

The Office "Performance Review" Quotes (Page 2)

Dwight: I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night. What the hell was I thinking?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks that it's Friday. Aaaand, that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Oh, hey. Listen, Jim. Here's a little tip for your performance review.
Jim: Okay.
Dwight: Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double-tabbed manila file folders.
Jim: We don't have double-tabbed manila file folders.
Dwight: Oh yes we do.
Jim: No we don't.
Dwight: Yeah, it's a new product. So you should just suggest that to him, and then he'll be sure to give you a raise.
Jim: All right. Well, I'm not asking for a raise. I'm going to actually be asking for a pay decrease.
Dwight: Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Jim: Then I win.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jim: J - Jim I - Is Jim M - My Name Is Jim.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Dwight: D - Determined W - Worker I - Intense G - Good Worker H - Hard Worker T - Terrific
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: But then she goes on to say "That will be our only topic of discussion." That doesn't mean anything. Those are just words...
Pam: I have one idea of what it means.
Michael: OK, yeah, what, what?
Pam: Well, I don't think you're going to be very happy with this.
Michael: Oh, great. Alright, well, now I'm in a terrible mood. Let's do your performance review.
Pam: Because she's conflicted. She has to be professional but she's fighting feelings for you.
Michael: Why - that's great news. That- that- Why would- why would I not like that?
Pam: Um, just 'cause that you work together and it might be awkward.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Pam, you're trustworthy.
Pam: Thank you.
Michael: And a woman.
Pam: Oh no.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were and it ended with him telling me he could bench press 190 pounds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen your core. Sorry.
Jim: It's all right.
Dwight: Numerous health benefits: strengthens your back, better performance at sports, more enjoyable sex.
Jim: You're not having sex.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: [sitting on a giant rubber ball] You should get one of these.
Jim: No, thank you.
Dwight: Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb, and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
Jim: Done.
 • Rating: Unrated

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