David: We will move some money around, and I will personally see to it that you have your party, you have your figs. I will be in attendance. It's gonna be great. How's that?
Michael: I quit.
David: What?
Michael: You have no idea how high I can fly.

Charles and Kelly? Absolutely not. He is a sophisticated man. He does not need to go dumpster-diving for companionship, ok?


Kelly: I could see our kids facing obstacles being half-Black and half-Indian, but it's so worth it, you guys.
Phyllis: It's just me here.

And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear.


Michael: Fifteen years I have been here. And I have sacrificed a lot.
David: Yes.
Michael: I've put having a family on hold.
David: We didn't ask you to do that.

Michael: Canceled my 15th anniversary party. Just pulled the rug out from under me. And he said no figs. I've already bought em. And I don't have a place to store them. So, I feel like I've been sort of boned.
David: Michael. Listen-
Michael: Do you talk to him about this? You've talked to him all day, obviously. Did you talk to him about this?
David: Well, I didn't know about the figs, specifically ...

Charles: Ok, Michael, I'm dissolving this committee.
Michael: What?
Charles: Yeah, I mean, come on. This is a work place. It isn't designed for your vanity.
Michael: Newsflash: I've been here for 15 years. Headline: You have been here one day. End of story. You have no right to cancel my 15th anniversary party. End of story. End of story. End of story!
Charles: I don't know if I have hurt your feelings or you do not disagree with my methods, but it is over.
Michael: Ok, no, no, no, no. No. You know what? I'm going to New York. And I am going to talk to David Wallace. I'm going to tell him everything. And I'm sorry to say, you're screwed. And, you know what? You are gonna be through. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to do that to you. Do you even know how paper is made? It's not like steel. You don't put it into a furnace. If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it.

Charles: Excuse me, guys. What's going on in here?
Michael: Party Planning Committee. Not your concern, Charles.
Charles: This doesn't seem like a good way to spend company time.
Michael: Really? Well then how would we come up with great ideas like Jim's? Go ahead.
Jim: No, I would like to get back to work, actually, please.
Charles: Whatcha got, Jim?... What is a two-way petting zoo?
Jim: You pet the animals and they pet you back.

Charles: What exactly is the PPC?
Phyllis: Oh, that's the Party Planning Committee. They spend hours planning parties.

Pam: And then, out of that cake, pops another stripper holding a smaller cake. And then an even smaller stripper pops out of that one.
Michael: What is that smaller stripper holding?
Pam: Cupcake. It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down.
Michael: Ok.

Charles: I will walk away.
Michael: I'm gonna walk away.
Andy: Stop doing that!
Michael: I'm kidding around, wow! Relax, everybody, it's just a joke. It's fine. Boy, so touchy. PPC, let's continue our morning meeting in the conference room.

I can tell Michael's mood by which comedy routine he chooses to do, the more infantile, the more upset he is. And he just skipped the Ace Ventura talking butt thing. He never skips it. This is bad.


The Office Season 5 Episode 20 Quotes

Michael: [on speakerphone] David, it was my understanding that I was not going to be managed.
David: What gave you that idea?
Michael: It was my understanding.
David: I see.

Pam: Hi, can I help you?
Charles: Yeah, I'm Charles Miner, here to see Michael Scott.
Pam: Sure. Just one second. Please have a seat.
Michael: [on speakerphone] Yes?
Pam: Michael, there's a Charles Miner here to see you.
Michael: Miner? I hardly know her! Hello?
Pam: Yeah, are you coming out now?
Michael: Uh-huh.