The Office

The Office "Diwali" Quotes (Page 2)

Michael: My Indian culture seminar was going great, until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex, people! Everybody does it! I'm doing it! With Carol! Probably tonight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who has seen that before?
Creed: I have. That's the Union of the Monkey.
Meredith: Oh, that's what they call it!
Kevin: This is the best meeting that we have ever had.
Michael: Thank you, Kevin.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I.
Jim: Excuse me?
Andy: Roller-coastery friendship. Hot and cold. On again, off again. Sexual tension-filled type of deal. It's very Sam and Diane.
Jim: Wow.
Andy: From Cheers.
Jim: Yup.
Andy: Yeah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tony: Karen, my chips got stuck in the vending machine again. I need your skinny little arms.
Karen: Oh, did you shake it?
Tony: Yeah, I shook it. I shook it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Now, a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million. And that's true, but it's also not true. Because, frankly, there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I started biking to work. Josh does it, and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also, it saves gas money, keeps me in shape, helps the environment, and now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I see dead people.
Michael: Okay! Spoiler alert!
Dwight: He was dead the whole time.
Michael: Just stop it!
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Diwali is a celebration of the coronation of the God-king Rama, after his epic battle with Ravina, the demon-king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil.
Michael: All right, all right. This isn't Lord of the Rings.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: Um, Diwali is awesome. And there's food, and there's gonna be dancing. And, oh, I got the raddest outfit. It has, um, sparkles-
Michael: Kelly? Um, why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday?
Kelly: Oh, um, I don't know. It's really old, I think.
Angela: How many gods do you have?
Kelly: Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.
Angela: And that blue busty gal? What's her story?
Kevin: She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight: Pam wishes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I love the people here, and if there's one thing I don't really care for, its that they can be terribly terribly ignorant about other cultures. And I don't want them embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend, Carol.
 • Rating: Unrated

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