You know how these things go...construction projects, they say three months and then after two years the lazy bums haven't even started. Now we're those lazy bums.

Michael

Welcome to the party, everyone have their Koooool-Aiiiiid?

Ryan

Why you always gotta be so mean to me?

Toby [to God]

Hello, it's Dwight from the vestibule. You wanna know my 11th commandment? I will not be undersold. I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kinda discounts.

Dwight (on phone)

Pam: We're gonna need a loaves and fishes kind of miracle to feed them all.
Angela [to Pam]: Jesus is not your caterer.
Angela [to Cece]: But he should be your caterer, because you're a little angel. Why didn't your parents get you a caterer?

Ryan: For all their generosity of spirit, they password protect their wireless?
Kelly: Try Jesus.

As a gift to this beautiful congregation I would like to offer...a four percent discount on all Dunder Mifflin/Sabre products, if you buy a printer at full price.

Dwight

I've been to that place. If you go to Cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes.

Ryan

I don't even know how to say this, but Cece is turning out to be a little b-*-t-c-h.

Michael

Sunday church service, it's been a few years. The Big Guy and I...we've got some catching up to do.

Toby

I hope you brought your pipes. We're about to smoke the opium in the masses.

Ryan

Pam: It's just that if a vampire coughed he would do it like this (coughs into crook of elbow).
Dwight: Right, and ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 'Cause of the Euro.

The Office Season 7 Episode 7 Quotes

I hope you brought your pipes. We're about to smoke the opium in the masses.

Ryan

Pam: It's just that if a vampire coughed he would do it like this (coughs into crook of elbow).
Dwight: Right, and ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 'Cause of the Euro.