Eliot: Alice, whatever it is, whatever you’re feeling, you can…you can just tell me.
Alice: I just can’t stop thinking about what he did to me. I was so useless, so stupid.

Julia: You’re not crazy Neela. Look, magic is real. I’m a magician, and so is your son. But he’s a rare breed with this link that they have to their mothers. Every time they’re close by their abilities start to bleed over.
Neela: Stop, stop, stop. Just stop.
Julia: My baby has the same abilities as Penny, which means it causes the same problems.
Neela: This isn’t happening.
Julia: This is happening. Look, I swear. I know I’m asking a lot but if you could just take a chance and let me help you, you could have your son back, get to know your grandchild. Wouldn’t that be worth it?
Neela: I can’t. I can’t go through this again. It’ll kill me. Tell William I’m sorry.

Penny: I need to know everything you went through. When did you start hearing voices?
Neela: About three months into the pregnancy. At first they thought it was a chemical imbalance, but after you were born I started to get worse. They said the stress of parenting brought on a latent psychological disorder, probably one I’d inherited. The first time I had to send you away… I hear myself say that and I still can’t believe I did it. I am so sorry.
Penny: Mom, I’m OK. I need you to tell me everything you can.
Neela: The voices went away when you did, and when you came back so did they. Every time you came back, there was less and less of the little boy.
Penny: Mom, this isn’t about me.
Neela: I wanted so much to raise you, love you, protect you, but what you needed protection from was me. What?
Penny: Mom?
Neela: I’m sorry. Someone’s calling me. What is it? What do you need?
Penny: Mom, there’s no one calling you.
Neela: Of course there is. It must be one of my patients. There’s more of them. You don’t hear them? They’re screaming.
Penny: I don’t.
Neela: Oh no, no, no, no, not again. Please stop.

Margo: Fen, where the fuck is the seed?
Josh: Why are you running so weird?
Fen: The seed is somewhere warm, very humid, even moist.
Josh: Oh, whoa.

Margo: I think I speak for the group in wondering why the fuck did we all Chorus Line?
Alice: And I heard all of you in my head, not just Marina.
Josh: Yeah, what the hell?
Zelda: Our circumstances are unstable. Our collective surge of emotion must have broken down some of the spells’ barriers. And as for the singing, well, it was designed by a conductor, and music is the purest manifestation of feeling.
Josh: So let me get this straight, every time we have a feeling, we’re gonna go full on Glee. That doesn’t seem ideal for, you know, a heist.

Penny: I spent my whole life thinking my mom was a basket case. You’re telling me she’s fine.
Julia: She was fine with me. We need to see how she is with you. Look, I won’t pretend I can even imagine what this is like for you, but you won’t be alone.

George: Thank you Henry.
Fogg 17: George, my pleasure.
Paloma: On our new world, you can have your own island.
Fogg 17: No, I want my own goddamn country.
Paloma: Fine.

Eliot: You want to get that, or…
Ember: Oh, it’s just a mouse farted something. A very gassy mouse.
Eliot: Umber.
Umber: It is I, an energetic emanation of Umber, great god of…
Ember: Piss off. Nobody wants you here.
Umber: I have heard your lamentations, and I am here to help. I was designed to intervene if my anarchist brother tries something stupid like blowing up the planet.

Hyman: Oh, this is incredible. I love fingering things.
Penny: OK, how about a few being alive in the 21st century ground rules. First of all, you can’t act like a fucking pervert anymore. Even white dudes can’t get away with that shit -- most of the time. People can see you and hear you…
Julia: And smell you. Sorry, pregnancy nose.
Penny: No, ground rules Hyman.

Julia: It’s just terrifying, you know? What is Lipson does the tests, and it’s bad news? You know, right now everything is good, and the thought of losing any of that is just…
Penny: Julia, it’s not the baby I’m freaking out about it. Look, I told you how my dad left, but what I didn’t tell you -- what I haven’t told anyone -- is around that time, my mom started having episodes, getting disoriented, hearing shit that wasn’t there. The doctors thought it was the stress from my dad bailing on us, but…
Julia: You think it’s because of you.
Penny: What’s happening to you looks just like what’s happening to my mom. The episodes didn’t stop when I was born; they got worse. When she burned down our apartment, it was the first time I got thrown into foster care. She’d fight to get me back, and then she’d get sick again. Eventually, the state took me in for good, and I was scared, but I was more scared of my mom. I fucked her up for life.
Julia: I’m so sorry.
Penny: I don’t want what happened to her to happen to you.
Julia: OK, I get it. I’ll do it -- the scans, the treatments -- but you have to know it won’t be like what happened to your mom. We know about magic. We have ways to deal with it.
Penny: And I won’t put you in a cage.

Sir Effingham: Oh my heavens, you have embraced the blessing of your sex, but surely you have misplaced your wedding band. You are widowed then?
Julia: No.
Sir Effingham: Oh you poor dear, you are carrying a bastard.
Julia: Definitely talking to one. I thought you chose Todd for this quest.
Sir Effingham: I fear he is not the intrepid hero I once thought him to be.
Julia: You don’t say?

Penny: What are you doing?
Hyman: Just stretching.
Penny: You’re trying to put yourself into stasis. What the hell man?
Hyman: To be honest, I haven’t really enjoyed this episode of my life. What is so great about having a body anyway? You’re hungry all the time. Everything you do makes you sore. You’re pooping constantly.
Penny: That hasn’t been my experience, but your body’s been in a bench for a century. Give it a minute man.
Hyman: And when dramatic things are happening to your friends you can’t even watch.
Penny: This is about me and Julia? You’re pissed because you can’t listen in on everyone’s personal conversations? It’s none of your business.
Hyman: But it is. I put you two together. I ‘shipped you before you even ‘shipped yourselves. Before, I was a part of everything, and now, I am, uh, a minor character in my own story. God.
Penny: Well, that’s the tradeoff. You don’t get to spy on people’s intimate moments; you get to live your own.
Hyman: That’s supposed to be better? If people wanted to talk to me, do you think I would have done this in the first place?
Penny: So spying on the showers was…
Hyman: Loneliness…and horniness.
Penny: You’re never going to make a connection by hiding, Hyman. You got to put yourself out there, just be honest with people. It may take a minute, but you’ll find someone who can stand you.
Hyman: Uh, are you doing that thing where you’re giving me advice, but it’s just for you?
Penny: No, I’m trying to…god damn it, I got to find Julia.

The Magicians Season 5 Quotes

Fogg: Ah, god damn it. Shit. My apologies.
Julia: Dean Fogg?
Fogg: I was waiting for the right moment to interject, and well, that never came.
Penny: Are you drunk?
Fogg: No, and I’m sorry about the scotch. I was smelling it.

Penny: Julia, you ready? Wow, wow, you look …
Julia: Overdressed.
Penny: Great.
Julia: I thought you said this was a date.
Penny: I said I was taking you out and to dress appropriately.
Julia: That means dress up. You totally told me to dress up.
Penny: I should have been more specific.
Julia: Good. Glad to hear you accept the blame.