Alice: Why did you put it there? What if I ignored it?
Santa: But you didn’t. You needed something to get back in the game. You weren’t gonna pass on a mystery you thought your guy was working on. I’m very sorry for your loss.
Alice: It really sucks.
Santa: Well, now you know. That page and wherever that quest took you it wasn’t his story; it was yours Alice. For what it’s worth, I think he’d been really proud of you, the way you keep on fighting. I told you. I told you were good.
Alice: I still don’t know if that’s true.
Santa: Hey, this is how it works: You do your best, you fuck up, you get hurt, people die. Except for the odd microplane, jack shit gets wrapped up in a bow.
Alice: You know you’re a real ray of sunshine Santa.
Santa: Ho ho ho.

Hyman: No. Hard pass as the kids say. Niete. Indian yes. Ah hell no. Anyway I’m not speaking to you.
Margo: Just wait. Do you not understand?
Hyman: Do you not understand you’re asking me to travel as a world explodes. Can you promise me no debris will hit me on my head.
Eliot: Well no, but…
Hyman: Things on my head hurt.
Margo: Life is pain. Ovary up.
Hyman: I am not a hero. I am a man tethered to a machine for poop and humiliation, and I abhor it. I said good day.

Seb: I know you’re worried, but it’s all going to be OK because of you. There’s a danger that once this door opens more dead will come through.
Eliot: This is insane.
Seb: Not if you seal it fast.
Eliot: You didn’t just bring me here to help you. You knew that I would try to stop you. Deep down, I know you want that too.
Seb: If I wanted you to stop me, I wouldn’t have cast on that door 20 minutes ago.

Martin: Hello big brother. Save me Rupert, I love you so. You’re still so predictable – your soft heart, your stubbornness, your stupidity.
Seb: What did you do to him?
Martin: Who, Lance? Never even met him. He must have moved on centuries ago. Spent some time in the library with my batty old writer friend Cassandra reading about the lengths you were going to to save him. You didn’t work nearly so hard to save me from Plover, did you?
Seb: Of course I did until I couldn’t. I had to save everyone from you. You chose the dark path.
Martin: Says the Dark King. Anyways, reading about you made me realize after everything you did to stop me you were going to give me everything I needed to have Fillory forever.

Penny: I know I told you you shouldn’t do it, but I will protect you, OK, somehow. I know a way to get to Jane Chatwin. She’ll help us, and you can go back to before.
Plum: Listen…
Penny: You can go back and stop Julia from dying, please.
Plum: We can’t.
Penny: Why the fuck not?
Plum: Because we already did.

Plum: Professor, we have to tell her. She’s trapped here and – insane to think about it – pregnant with my mother.
Jane: Yes. Tell me what my dears?
Penny: We are going to destroy Fillory with you on it. It is the only way to stop your brother.
Jane: The best we can do is to try to stop our legacy from hurting anybody else. You’re doing the right thing both of you. But I won’t be gone. I’ll still be here in the clock barrens. Without Fillory, it’ll be a little bit harder to find me.

Lipson: Here she is baby Eleanor.
Julia: I don’t remember naming her Eleanor.
Penny: That’s ‘cuz we didn’t.
Lipson: People name their kid after their doctor all the time. It’s a thing that happens.
Penny: Sure.

Eliot: She’s not coming back.
Josh: You don’t know that.

Penny: Come with me if you want to live.
Margo: Penny?
Penny: Yeah, sorry, Josh wanted me to say it. It seemed real important to him. C’mon.

Fen: I’ve never cast magic before.
Margo: And you’re not casting now Fen.
Fen: I’m just happy to be included. I feel all tingly. Is that what casting magic feels like?
Margo: Too late to swap her out for Kady?

Eliot: Charlton, you look like you.
Charlton: I also feel like me. If you touch me but also inside. It’s nice.
Eliot: Well this is weird.
Charlton: Good weird. I have an awkward question. I often ask myself what you’d say and the answer is, ‘Of course not. Don’t be stupid, Charlton. Eliot isn’t the kind of guy…
Eliot: Charlton, ask.
Charlton: I wonder whether you could ever be romantically inclined toward someone like me.
Eliot: Uh, a thousand-year-old Fillorian in a pervert ghost’s body wearing a transfiguration amulet?
Charlton: A man who knows you well, is emotionally available, and plans to stick around.
Eliot: Well shit, Charlton.
Charlton: Are we going somewhere?
Eliot: Upstairs, to explore this further.
Charlton: Fuck.

Eliot: Charlton, in Hyman-esque form.
Charlton: Here you are in your happy place but you don’t seem happy.
Eliot: I thought being here and teaching would help, but it hasn’t. I miss them. I feel lost and alone without them. Margo, all of them. I even miss Fillory. Do you think… there’s no way Seb survived.
Charlton: Probably not. Fillory’s gone but maybe it’s better now. Maybe now he’s somewhere with someone who loves him. You’re not alone, you now, Eliot. Oh gods, I am still not used to how strong alcohol is.
Eliot: Keep drinking. It’ll come.

The Magicians Season 5 Quotes

Fogg: Ah, god damn it. Shit. My apologies.
Julia: Dean Fogg?
Fogg: I was waiting for the right moment to interject, and well, that never came.
Penny: Are you drunk?
Fogg: No, and I’m sorry about the scotch. I was smelling it.

Penny: Julia, you ready? Wow, wow, you look …
Julia: Overdressed.
Penny: Great.
Julia: I thought you said this was a date.
Penny: I said I was taking you out and to dress appropriately.
Julia: That means dress up. You totally told me to dress up.
Penny: I should have been more specific.
Julia: Good. Glad to hear you accept the blame.