The Magicians
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on SyFyThe Magicians Quotes
Kady: Finally getting that GED?
Penny: Have some respect. I’m a professor.
Yu-jin: You want to know if I drugged you? I left you my number. I showed up for a second date, which is big for me because I’m terrified of settling down. Oh, maybe I took a chance on you because you remind me of my cousin who I’ve been obsessed with since we were 13. Yes, my first cousin, but our mom’s a twin, so genetically my half-sister, which makes it worse. Why am I saying all of this?
Kady: Because I truffied your drink.
Yu-jin: You drugged me to see if I drugged you? You are insane, but I swear whatever happened to you, I didn’t do it. I mean I did some stuff to you, on you, I mean with you. The sex stuff because you asked for the record. God fucking truth serum.
Eliot: So what do you say? Wanna go back in time, save my friends, and unfuck history for old time’s sack?
Jane: If I change anything, it could undo every sacrifice we’ve all made to stop the Beast.
Eliot: Why did you build a workshop full of time travel gadgets if you aren’t willing to use them?
Jane: The lesson I’ve learned from a life of trying to change the past, is, well, you almost always make things worse.
Which one of you beefy twats built a Magician-proof dungeon? All right, let’s brute force this mother.
Margo
Fen: On the count of three, we charge.
Josh: I don’t have a weapon.
Fen: You are the weapon.
Josh: I’m just saying, you have two.
Fen: One, two, three, charge.
Fogg: There’s too much god damn magic. Yes, I know.
Julia: Some surges come and go, and hardly anyone notices.
Fogg: And sometimes it’s a cluster fuck of catastrophe and death.
Julia: I’m trying to figure out a pattern. Why some surges and not others.
Fogg: Well, if you’d had a proper Brakebills’ education, you’d know the answer: circumstances, dear – the phase of the moon, the nearest body of water. You must factor them all into your castings.
Julia: Even us filthy hedges know about circumstances.
Eliot: This isn’t real.
Fen: Eliot. Hey.
Eliot: Hey. How are you talking right now?
Fen: I’m dead, not rude.
Eliot: Oh, you’re a ghost.
Fen: Am I?
Eliot: Sorry.
Fen: It’s hard to be mad. I was a terrible High King, or that’s what a lot of people screamed at me, and a lot of strangers screaming at you can’t be wrong.
Eliot: Right.
Fen: Eliot: This isn’t real.
Fen: Eliot. Hey.
Eliot: Hey. How are you talking right now?
Fen: I’m dead, not rude.
Eliot: Oh, you’re a ghost.
Fen: Am I?
Eliot: Sorry.
Fen: It’s hard to be mad. I was a terrible High King, or that’s what a lot of people screamed at me, and a lot of strangers screaming at you can’t be wrong.
Eliot: Right.
Fen: Anyhoo, they hung me. Fen out bitches.
Fogg: I may know someone who can help you. Professor X.
Julia: Wait, like the X-Men?
Fogg: No, she’s my ex-lover. I like calling her that because she hates it.
Margo: And you didn’t tell me?
Eliot: I’m not your subject; I’m your friend.
Margo: Fine, then what would you tell Josh to do? Run to the nearest dive and drink himself to death?
Eliot: Yes, I would run away because you try to save your friends, and they die anyway. You can’t stop the Takers, and you can’t stop the Dark King, and if we don’t focus on getting you out, you’re going to get decapitated. Fillory is fucked because it always is, and I don’t get why you keep trying to fix something that wants to be broken.
Margo: It may be broken, but it’s my home.
Eliot: It hasn’t been your home for 300 years.
Margo: You are right about one thing: I have gone soft. I’ve been telling myself if I can just keep Josh from dying, somehow I can get him and my kingdom back, but that’s not possible, is it?
Alice: Quentin?
Young Quentin: Where am I? Where are my pants? If this is a dream – and it seems like it’s a dream – shouldn’t knowing it’s a dream wake me up? Unless it’s a lucid dream, like that episode of Voyager, or I’ve been kidnapped by aliens who are trying to get secrets out of me like that other episode of Voyager. Something wrong?
Alice: No, it’s just you sound like someone I used to know.
Alice: I had this friend who I loved very much, and he died, and I didn’t get to say good-bye, and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to go on without him. And he gave me this gift I can never repay.
Young Quentin: What was the gift?
Alice: His life. He gave it up for mine. I brought you here because I wanted closure; I just wanted to fix something, finish something, for him. But the letter I showed you, you couldn’t read it.
Young Quentin: You’re skipping to the beginning of the book.
Alice: What?
Young Quentin: I can’t help you because you don’t want me to, because then your friend’s story is over. My dad says when I get sad about something it will end. I should just imagine this is the first page in a new book. The gift your friend gave you, it wasn’t his life; it was yours. That story just started. What?
Alice: I just shouldn’t be surprised that even at age 12, Quentin Coldwater is still the smartest person I know.
Young Quentin: Endings are the worst part. Characters grow up, they move on, some of them die. It feels like …
Julia: Your best friend in the whole world has abandoned you. I’ve had this conversation before.
Young Quentin: So have I. The therapist my mom sends me to says I have transition anxiety as if it’s too much to ask that nothing ever change.
Julia: Well, your real friends won’t abandon you. That will never change.
Young Quentin: My best friend will start dating skeevy guys who smoke and spit, and she’ll forget I ever existed.
Julia: You’re just going to have to trust me on this one, but the skeevy guys thing, it’s just a phase. She needs you as much as you need her.
