The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Quotes
Todd: Do you like your baby?
Erica: Ehhh. I don't know. She's alright, I guess.
Okay. So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I’ve come to a decision. I want you to have a baby.
Melissa
I won’t tell them where you are, if you don’t want me to. I’ll just keep bringing you Pop Tarts. Such a healthy diet!
Melissa
You’ve come a long way since Tuscon, and you know what? I bet if your parents were still alive, they’d be just as proud of you as I am.
Gail
Karl, we send you our thoughts and prayers as you hurdle, screaming on your terrifying to hell. Heck, you’re probably chewing on Bill Cosby’s gall bladder right now and washing it down with a warm cup of diarrhea.
Tandy
Tandy: Obviously, I’ll be Alexander Hamilton, and you’ll be Aaron Berg.
Karl: Burr.
Tandy: Need a sweater?
Karl: I'm fine.
Carol: Thanks, Tandy.
Tandy: I’m not doing this for that, Carol, okay? I already got more than enough praise inside. I tried to cut it privately, but it ended up being a rather public affair. I had to borrow scissors and, you know, cried a little bit and such. But yeah, you’re welcome. This is going to be very hard for me.
So, you thinking of coming back anytime soon? You know there’s no pressure on my end, but Todd misses you and I don’t think I can hold him off forever.
Melissa (to Jasper)
Uhhhh. He gone.
Tandy
Tandy: Remind me, what kind of penis are you?
Karl: What?
Tandy: Pia-NIST.
How about this? Maybe just this once, take that hunch to lunch and give Karl a chunce?
Carol to Tandy
The last thing he needs is us breathing down his neck. That's what drove him away in the first place.
Melissa about Jasper
