Michael: If you eat anything at this IHOP you will literally explode.
Jason: Yeah, I know. It's IHOP.

Your big revelation...is life is complicated?

Judge

Eleanor: I mean bleh! What am I saying? This house is stupid and you're lame and I hate you.
Chidi: I love you too.

Can someone grab my tiny boyfriend please?!

Eleanor

Tahani: Why are you crying?
Jason: I just like being a part of things.

This is how I always got out of Escape Rooms! If you break enough stuff they throw you out!

Eleanor

There are so many unintended consequences to well-intentioned actions.

Tahani

Here's some champagne for you for thanking me for thanking you for thanking me for thanking you for thanking me for the champagne you sent me.

Eleanor

You're sharp, and you're strong. You make fun of me a lot. You once called me a human snooze button. But you also showed up in my classroom when I was drowning in despair and canned chili and you basically saved my life.

Chidi

Great. So I don't feel like myself for two seconds and it breaks the universe?

Eleanor

You're barfing Wikipedia over everyone to avoid talking about your feelings.

Eleanor

Janet you did it! You brought us into your void! If I had a heart it would be pounding!

Michael

The Good Place Quotes

The point is, you're cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained. I've never seen you dance, but I bet you're good, 'cause you're good at everything. You're awesome! Be nicer to yourself.

Jason [to Tahani]

Michael: If you eat anything at this IHOP you will literally explode.
Jason: Yeah, I know. It's IHOP.