Eleanor: Remember what I said to you when you were going through your mid-life crisis, one earring, red convertible phase?
Michael: You look so stupid.
Eleanor: After that.
Michael: You said that every human is a little bit sad all the time because you know you're gonna die. But that knowledge is what gives life meaning.
Eleanor: The way to restore meaning to the people in the Good Place is to let them leave.

Chidi: You look a little pale. Did you get sick from the hot air balloon? I bet if you throw up it'll just be butterflies or something.
Michael: I'm fine. I just...I don't belong here. There's no telling what will happen to a demon that steps foot in this place. Promise if I'm vaporized, you guys will keep having fun.

Hey, guys! Having fun? Great. So, little update. The Good Place is a disaster. Everyone here is a happiness zombie, and no one is doing anything about it because by the time they realize it's happening everyone is too far gone to care.

Eleanor

On paper this is paradise. All your desires and needs are met. But it's infinite. And when perfection goes on forever you become this glassy-eyed mush person.

Patty

Listen carefully before I forget how to say this. You gotta help us. We are so screwed.

Patty

Jason: Hey, guys! I'm back. Go-karting with monkeys got boring really fast.
Michael: It did?!
Eleanor: Oh no.
Chidi: Dammit!

“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters is if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday.”

Michael

“Disco Janet was around for a while years ago. She was great, I mean she was a lot, but she was fun.”

Michael

Chidi: “Moral strength is defined by how we behave in times of stress.”
Michael: “Has anyone ever told you what a drag you are?”

“I’m going to use my free will right now to go pick up our friends at the airport. Worst possible use of free will, but I’m going to do it anyway, because I care about them.”

Michael

“There’s been a big mistake. I’m not supposed to be here.”

Eleanor

I'm upset because for hundreds of years I've had a job. First, it was finding a better way to torture humans, then helping them. Then, proving the system was broke, then teaching the demons how to roll a rock up a hill over and over. And then it kept rolling down, so I had to do it again. And then Vicky comes along with this rock-lifter thing and just lifts it to the top of the hill. Pushing the rock up the hill gave me a purpose. Who am I if the rock's gone?

Michael

The Good Place Quotes

If soulmates do exist, they're not found. They're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship. Like your parents. They didn't magically stay together because you proved they should.

Michael

I am a strong independent acid snake in the skinsuit of a strong independent woman.

Vicky