If all you care about in the world is the velvet rope you will always be unhappy no matter what side you're on. You and I are proof of that.

Tahani

I just want you to recognize that your blog hurt people. You have a chance to be better here.

Tahani

Eleanor: Well this was a huge success!
Michael: Chidi's an absolute mess.

I went too far. And what's worse...I liked it. Because I'm angry at him for leaving me. Which isn't even remotely fair because he sacrificed himself for us, but I'm still angry he abandoned me. Which makes me feel guilty, which makes me angry, which makes me want to talk to Chidi because he's the person I go to when I'm angry. So, it's a real fun cycle.

Eleanor

I'm probably just going to mess it up like I messed things up with Janet.

Jason

I know that's silly. This is the Good Place. You two would never do anything to hurt anyone, but I am seriously worried that I did something wrong. And this is the universe getting back at me.

Chidi

No, shut up for a sec! I'm not a Buddhist monk. My name is Jason Mendoza. I'm a DJ from Florida, and I'm not supposed to be here! You gotta help me out, homie. I'm scared.

Jason

I didn't ask for this! I'm only doing it because Michael, who is supposed to be in charge, had a nervous breakdown the second it started! But, maybe you can do it better than me. Tahani can be in charge since she's so smart. Or better yet, Jason, maybe all of humanity can be saved with one good old fashioned Jacksonville carnival.

Eleanor

Brent: This chaos is clearly all about me. This is the universe telling me that I don't belong here.
Michael: Brent, what do you mean?
Brent: I don't belong in the Good Place. I mean, obviously there's a place better than this. I belong there. In the Best Place.

You think you can't do this? Eleanor, you're the only one who can do this. Like it or not, the only one who can save humanity is a girl from Arizona.

Michael

Michael: This is all good news. Right, team leader?
Eleanor: Yeah, it's super cool that I'm actively surveilling and manipulating an ex-boyfriend. I mean, more so than I usually did.

Janet: I can't be in a relationship with you right now. Being with you is fun, but it's not always easy and I'm afraid it would endanger the experiment.
Jason: It won't though.
Janet: Jason, it already has.

The Good Place Quotes

Michael: All I really ever wanted was to know what it feels like to be human, and now we’re going to do the most human thing of all: attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly!

So, why do it then? Why choose to be good, every day, if there is no guaranteed reward we can count on, now or in the afterlife? I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.

Chidi