I don't even know where I belong. I don't want to go home. I don't want to leave this house because I don't want to leave her.


Man she was stubborn. You know I couldn't even get her to close her robe in the morning to get the paper and it was the neighbors paper.


She as gonna do what she was gonna do. She never listened to a damn person in her life.


Don't touch anything, I have a system.


At least you don't have a wet ass from sitting on the couch.


Mark: Grandpa Dan, did you ever like a boy?
Dan: No.
Mark: Does it bother you that I do?
Dan: No. I was kind of waiting for you to tell me about it.
Mark: Sorry I took so long.
Dan: Okay, don't let it happen again.

Would you like to talk about death some more?


The truck through the house thing that's just an expression, right?


I might die tomorrow. Don't be mean.


You're too trusting! You might want to work on that.


Becky, you can't stay vertical for one more day?


Becky: Maybe we should just tell the bill collectors that mom died.
Darlene: Don't you remember mom used that herself five times?
Becky: Yeah but I feel like we can really sell it this time.

The Conners Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Mark: It's been three weeks since Grannie Rosie's funeral, why are people still giving us casseroles?
Harris: And why do people bring casseroles when somebody dies?

Jackie: What was this, tuna casserole or potato salad?
Darlene: It doesn't matter. It's just stuff and mayonnaise.