Mark: I guess he’s my boyfriend. When we found out that they were going to start serving personal pizzas at lunch we got so excited that we kissed.
Dan: I get that.

David: I saw your father go in the garage with a platter of meat; he’s not coming out ’till spring.
Darlene: No! It’s half vegan, we’ve got like two minutes until he hits broccoli and comes screaming out of there.

Darlene: You can’t make me feel worse about myself than I already feel right now.
Jackie: At least let me try.

Hey, it’s not contagious, lady. Your kid’s not going to catch being gay any more than he’s going to catch being a cranky, old wench like you.

Darlene

What’s important is that someone wonderful will eventually come along. I think the hard part is that you know who you are at a very early age and that’s great, but until the rest of the kids catch up it might be a little lonely.

David

So when you and David finish therapy and he moves in with you and Ben, are you and the rest of the Mormons going to raise a barn in the back yard?

Jackie

You think your baby’s never going to love you? Do you know all the awful things we did to you as a baby?

Dan

The Conners Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

David: I saw your father go in the garage with a platter of meat; he’s not coming out ’till spring.
Darlene: No! It’s half vegan, we’ve got like two minutes until he hits broccoli and comes screaming out of there.

Mark: I guess he’s my boyfriend. When we found out that they were going to start serving personal pizzas at lunch we got so excited that we kissed.
Dan: I get that.