And just to be safe, when you talk to him, don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control, organic food, the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.


All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up. You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can ever find someone else -- speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen; we had a meeting.


Amy: Oh ... are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence.

Biologists are mean.


Sheldon: This is now the only lab with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan.
Amy: Soap spots. Wash them again.

Amy: I'm excited to work with my boyfriend. It's going to be romantic.
Sheldon: Way to kill the mood.

Penny: So you're saying if I became a famous movie star, we got married, you wouldn't sign a pre-nup?
Leonard: Absolutely not! If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling ... then Leonard gots to get paid.

You would fetch a unicorn.

Amy [looking at Penny]

You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him. That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.


Berndette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie ... that's what sex is for.

Leonard: Lobster traps?
Sheldon: Yes. That's how Velma and Scooby smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse.

Good Lord! Would you stop that caterwauling?


The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

Sheldon: Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir.
Stephen Hawking: I know.

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.