The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 5 Episode 11: "The Speckerman Recurrence"

Raj: That was pretty badass, dude.
Sheldon: I help the weak. It's yet another way I'm exactly like Batman.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Sheldon: Leonard, I platonically love you man, but face it, you're a mess.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Jimmy: What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching -- "Annie."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Amy: Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Penny: Oh, terrific. High school quarterback against four mathletes.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Penny: Hi. Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi." No spaces.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 10: "The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition"

Sheldon: I got a splinter.
Amy: What do you want me to do about it?
Sheldon: Relationship agreement - Section 4: Boo-boos and ouchies. You have to take care of it.
Amy: I should've gotten a lawyer.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Bernadette: Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
Penny: Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend; she has a Sheldon.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: Amy, little vixen. Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Bernadette: I'm too small for Twister. And, roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stuart: I'll ring it up. It's like shooting nerds in a barrel.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Howard: You interested in Amy?
Stuart: Well, I mean she didn't look through me with soul-sucking ball-shriveling hatred and contempt. I like that in a woman.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Stuart: Can I help you find anything?
Amy: A comic that doesn't depict a woman whose bosom can't be used as a flotation device.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Howard: It's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores instead of just downloading comics digitally.
Leonard: It's probably for the best. For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here is the only chance their mom has to go down to the basement to change their sheets.
Howard: Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 9: "The Ornithophobia Diffusion "

Sheldon: Mine was great. I'm going to be a mommy.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Leonard: I am such an asthmatic dumbass.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Sheldon: Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you!
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Amy: If you're keeping him, I've got a cage you can borrow. One of the test monkeys slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. It was both tragic and hysterical.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Sheldon: Trust me, if I had a death ray, I wouldn't be living here. I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "The Big Bang Theory" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!