The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory

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Season: 6 5 4 3 2 1

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 5 Episode 18: "The Werewolf Transformation"

Penny: Ok, what just happened?
Leonard: I don't know. Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer, and Sheldon being ok with you in his spot, I'm guessing someone went back in time and changed the course of human events.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Sheldon: I gotta run...[stops] but not with scissors, that would be unsafe.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Amy: What about Supercuts?
Sheldon: I tried it once; they cut men and women hair at the same time in the same room. It's like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Penny: I use to cut my brother's hair. I could do it for you
Sheldon: I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but here in town we don't churn our own butter, we don't make dresses from gunny sacks, and sure-as-shootin don't get our hair cut by bottle blon..
Leonard: Sheldon be nice!
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
Sheldon: To paraphrase T.S. Elliot, this is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a nephew.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 17: "The Rothman Disintegration"

Amy: I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality.
Penny: Yeah, good call.
Amy: But, if you ever change your mind, all it would take is some warm, soapy water and a couple of sponges.
Penny: You're talking about the painting, right?
Amy: Sure.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: I'm trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples tear through my shirt.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Amy: Goodnight, Painting Penny. Goodnight, Real Penny.
Penny: Goodnight, Real Amy.
Amy: You don't have to say goodnight to Painting Amy, because she's never leaving. Bernadette: Goodnight, Real Penny. Goodnight, Transvestite Penny.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leonard: It's going to be difficult to find something you are both equally good at.
Raj: Is there anything you are both equally bad at?
Sheldon and Kripke: Sports.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Penny: It's kind of heavy
Bernadette: Too bad you're not as strong as the dude in the painting.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
Kripke: Well, as long as we are here I might as well take a leak.
Sheldon: Kripke, you're in my spot
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: If you're interested I can send you a link to a YouTube video that would show you how to perform your own rectal exam. Helpful hint: trim your nails first.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
President Siebert: Now? You realize I'm your boss and I'm holding my penis.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Amy: Before I met you, I was a mousey wallflower. But look at me now. I'm like some kind of downtown-hipster-party girl with a posse, a boyfriend and a new lace bra that hooks in the front of all things.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Raj: I'm glad men are wearing hats again. They are so distinguished.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 16: "The Vacation Solution"

Howard: Why don't I talk to him about it in May?
Bernadette: In May, you're gonna be on the International Space Station.
Howard: They got a phone.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
Bernadette: And just to be safe, when you talk to him, don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control, organic food, the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Penny: All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up. You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can ever find someone else -- speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen; we had a meeting.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0
Amy: Oh ... are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: Biologists are mean.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

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Season: 6 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 5 Quotes: 261
Total The Big Bang Theory Quotes: 1245
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