Howard, you go ahead and eat. This isn't going to make any sense to you.


That's amazing. You'll be like his pit crew.


Howard: So, I got the craziest email this morning.
Raj: I hate to burst your bubble, dude, but those penile enlargement pills do not work.
Howard: Believe me I know.

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Heterosexual, my ass.

Raj: Oh, my goodness. Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever! You got him for me?
Howard: Her. We thought you two would hit it off.
Raj: I think we already have.

Penny: What is the truth?
Sheldon: My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream and forced me to open it. And when the toy broke I switched it for yours. Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing and I defied him. And then I was attacked by a Gorn.
Leonard: Okay, that I believe.

And, once again, my baloney likes girls.


With women! I like to boogie with women!


Lakshmi: I'm gay.
Raj: Like dude-on-dude but with women?

Spock: What is the purpose of a toy?
Sheldon: To be played with.
Spock: Therefore to not play with it would be...?
Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.

Leonard: Once you open the box, it loses it's value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.

Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Penny: Yeah. It was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. Felt pretty good.

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

Leonard: It will be like our World of Warcraft party a few years ago when the neighbors called the cops on us.
Howard: They called the cops because of the smell. They thought we were dead.
Raj: We were badass back in the day.
Leonard: All right, let's do it.
Howard: 48 hours of Star Wars gaming.
Raj: It's on like Alderaan.

You can't blame yourself. When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine. We, neurobiologists, refer to this as the skank reflex.