The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory

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Season: 6 5 4 3 2 1

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 5 Episode 20: "The Transporter Malfunction"

Raj: No, I'm not gay. If anything, I'm metrosexual.
Raj's father: What's that?
Raj: It means that I like women, as well as, their skin-care products.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Sheldon: Well, you should. 50% of marriages end in divorce, but 100% of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness
 • Rating: 4.2 / 5.0
Sheldon: Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. Yeah, I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins. Slip on the ring, disappear and everyone goes home.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 19: "The Weekend Vortex"

Raj: But e-excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what its like to the be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Amy: I'm dating Sheldon Cooper
Penny: Yes, on purpose.
Amy: He's handsome, he's lanky, he's brilliant and his skin has the pale, waxy quality.
Penny: Well, sickly is the new sexy.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
Sheldon: Is the whip sound app contextually appropriate here?
Leonard: Uh, it is, but I think you might have waited too long for it to be funny.
[whip cracks]
Leonard: [Everyone laughs] I was wrong; it was still funny.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leonard: Hmm, if it's yogurt that helps ladies poop, I think Raj beat you to it.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
Leonard: We're always the good guys. In D&D, we're lawful good. In City of Heroes, we're the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat.
Sheldon: Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Penny: Sorry, Stallion. You're weird friend, Giraffe, is here.
 • Rating: 4.2 / 5.0
Howard: Now, I downloaded an app that might be helpful in this situation.
[whip cracks]
Sheldon: You're right. I'm smart as a whip. I should be able to figure this out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Howard: Look, if you don't want to go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man. Act like one. Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leonard: I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems, if I wasn't shocked that Sheldon has girl problems.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leonard: We'll miss you Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around a bunch of pretend planets, battling made up monsters? That's for babies.
Howard: Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
Sheldon: Please, Amy! It's got lightsabers!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Sheldon: She's 93. She won't be disappointed for very long.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Leonard: It will be like our World of Warcraft party a few years ago when the neighbors called the cops on us.
Howard: They called the cops because of the smell. They thought we were dead.
Raj: We were badass back in the day.
Leonard: All right, let's do it.
Howard: 48 hours of Star Wars gaming.
Raj: It's on like Alderaan.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Raj: Hey, want to spend some time playing the new Star Wars game this weekend?
Leonard: Oh, I don't know. I kinda promised myself I'd get off the computer, be more physically active, get some exercise....?
Howard: You're about to walk up three flights of stairs.
Leonard: Good point. I'm in.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 18: "The Werewolf Transformation"

Penny: Please come home and let me cut your hair.
Sheldon: Amy what do you think?
Amy: There's not a hair on this body I wouldn't let this woman trim.
 • Rating: 3.9 / 5.0
Penny: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Where ever the music takes me kitten.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Penny: Why did you get bongos?
Sheldon: Richard Feynman played bongos, I thought I would give that a try
Leonard: Richard Feynman was a physicist
Penny: It's three o'clock in the morning, I don't care if Richard Feynman was a purple leprechaun that lived in my butt!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Bernadette: You're so brave, I'm proud of you
Howard: I ate a butterfly. It was so small, beautiful.... I was so hungry.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

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Season: 6 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 5 Quotes: 261
Total The Big Bang Theory Quotes: 1214
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