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I'm telling you dude there's a seat on the Hogwart's Express with your name on it.

Raj

It's okay, I serve soup to poor people.

Bernadette

Leonard: You think we can outrun him?
Sheldon: I don't need to outrun him. I just need to outrun you.

I feel just like Mother Teresa. Except for the virgin part. That ship sailed a long time ago.

Penny

Raj: That was pretty badass, dude.
Sheldon: I help the weak. It's yet another way I'm exactly like Batman.

Leonard, I platonically love you man, but face it, you're a mess.

Sheldon

Jimmy: What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching -- "Annie."

Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.

Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?

Amy

Oh, terrific. High school quarterback against four mathletes.

Penny

Penny: Hi. Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: I got a splinter.
Amy: What do you want me to do about it?
Sheldon: Relationship agreement - Section 4: Boo-boos and ouchies. You have to take care of it.
Amy: I should've gotten a lawyer.

Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 261 in total

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

Bernadette: I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.
Penny: Nice. You know, you should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowksi-Wolowitz.com before someone snaps it up.
Bernadette: Howard already took are of it. Plus he set up our beautiful wedding website with cute little facts about our family histories. Do you know for a while, in Poland, my family and his family were neighbors.
Penny: Aww, that's cool.
Amy: No, it's not. I'll explain it to you later.

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj
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