I'm telling you dude there's a seat on the Hogwart's Express with your name on it.


It's okay, I serve soup to poor people.


Leonard: You think we can outrun him?
Sheldon: I don't need to outrun him. I just need to outrun you.

I feel just like Mother Teresa. Except for the virgin part. That ship sailed a long time ago.


Raj: That was pretty badass, dude.
Sheldon: I help the weak. It's yet another way I'm exactly like Batman.

Leonard, I platonically love you man, but face it, you're a mess.


Jimmy: What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching -- "Annie."

Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.

Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?


Oh, terrific. High school quarterback against four mathletes.


Penny: Hi. Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: I got a splinter.
Amy: What do you want me to do about it?
Sheldon: Relationship agreement - Section 4: Boo-boos and ouchies. You have to take care of it.
Amy: I should've gotten a lawyer.

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

Leonard: It will be like our World of Warcraft party a few years ago when the neighbors called the cops on us.
Howard: They called the cops because of the smell. They thought we were dead.
Raj: We were badass back in the day.
Leonard: All right, let's do it.
Howard: 48 hours of Star Wars gaming.
Raj: It's on like Alderaan.

You can't blame yourself. When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine. We, neurobiologists, refer to this as the skank reflex.