I'm telling you dude there's a seat on the Hogwart's Express with your name on it.


It's okay, I serve soup to poor people.


Leonard: You think we can outrun him?
Sheldon: I don't need to outrun him. I just need to outrun you.

I feel just like Mother Teresa. Except for the virgin part. That ship sailed a long time ago.


Raj: That was pretty badass, dude.
Sheldon: I help the weak. It's yet another way I'm exactly like Batman.

Leonard, I platonically love you man, but face it, you're a mess.


Jimmy: What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching -- "Annie."

Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.

Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?


Oh, terrific. High school quarterback against four mathletes.


Penny: Hi. Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: I got a splinter.
Amy: What do you want me to do about it?
Sheldon: Relationship agreement - Section 4: Boo-boos and ouchies. You have to take care of it.
Amy: I should've gotten a lawyer.

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

Spock: What is the purpose of a toy?
Sheldon: To be played with.
Spock: Therefore to not play with it would be...?
Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.

Sheldon: Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir.
Stephen Hawking: I know.