The Big Bang Theory

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The big bang theory
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Cut! [sighs] Take 47.

Sheldon

Penny: You mean like a beta test?
Leonard: Well, technically, this would be an alpha test. A beta test requires people that weren't involved in the development of the appli....
Penny: Seriously, do I not get credit for knowing beta test?
Leonard: No, absolutely you should.

Leonard: I missed you.
Penny: You see me all the time. You sure you don't just miss the sex?
Leonard: Well, yeah, the sex with you is pretty great. Have you ever tried it?
Penny: I have. You're not wrong.

Leonard: No, just you and me.
Penny: Have you thought this through?
Leonard: Yes, and I think we should go anyway.

Bernadette: Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.
Howard: Why not?
Bernadette: I'm a very vengeful person.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: With access to weaponized smallpox.

Penny and Leonard 2.0. We can test it internally, shake out the bugs, and if we both think it is solid, we roll it out to the public

Leonard

Leonard: What are you afraid of?
Penny: Well, what if we do go out and I do something stupid and dump you again.
Leonard: What if I dump you?
Penny: [Scoffs] Come on, be serious.

Leonard: How does a miserable date end in sex?
Penny: I don't know, it's complicated.
Leonard: Well, I'm a pretty smart guy and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply so give it a go.

Sheldon: Now, back to our game.
Raj: You were in the middle of an erection.
Sheldon: Oh, of course. It's right here in my hand.

And now that I have some wood. I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement.

Sheldon

Penny: Bat signal? What are you, some kind of nerd?
Leonard: Not some kind of nerd, I'm the king of nerds.
Penny: What does that mean?
Leonard: Uh, it means if anyone displeases me, I don't help them set up their printer.
Penny: You are so funny.
Leonard: Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off

Sheldon: Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both snickering]
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 261 in total

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

Sheldon: Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir.
Stephen Hawking: I know.

You can't blame yourself. When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine. We, neurobiologists, refer to this as the skank reflex.

Amy