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The-big-bang-theory

Biologists are mean.

Sheldon

Sheldon: This is now the only lab with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan.
Amy: Soap spots. Wash them again.

Amy: I'm excited to work with my boyfriend. It's going to be romantic.
Sheldon: Way to kill the mood.

Penny: So you're saying if I became a famous movie star, we got married, you wouldn't sign a pre-nup?
Leonard: Absolutely not! If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling ... then Leonard gots to get paid.

You would fetch a unicorn.

Amy [looking at Penny]

You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him. That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.

Penny

Berndette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie ... that's what sex is for.

Leonard: Lobster traps?
Sheldon: Yes. That's how Velma and Scooby smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse.

Good Lord! Would you stop that caterwauling?

Sheldon
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