If I had one, mine would be "Brown Dynamite."


Leonard: Sheldon, Canada is not going to invade California.
Sheldon: Yeah, really? You think those hippies in Washington and Oregon can stop them?

Leonard: So, I've got a gunshot wound. That's pretty bad-ass.
Penny: No, you've got a Reebok with a gunshot wound and an ouchie on your pinky toe.

I can't believe I bought my soul mate at Glendale Galleria.


Bernadette: Who's Siri? Is he dating someone new?
Howard: Yes. His phone.
Bernadette: Is that cute? Or, creepy?

Can you be more specific on how my eyebrows are "stupid." No, never mind. It's right here.


Raj: I'd like for you to call me sexy.
Siri: [chimes]From now on, I'll call you sexy. Okay?
Raj: Okay!

Her heart's full of love, no one cares what's in her mouth.


It's color-coded. Red means "fix right away" Yellow is "eh, whenever you get a chance." And, green is "I could probably learn to live with it."


She is gonna break his heart.


[Chuckles] Look at that. There's finally a women in your life you can talk to


Raj: Whoa! What's your hurry, cowboy? Savor the moment.
[Raj and Howard slowly remove the plastic off Raj's new iPhone 4s]
Howard: Oh, yeah.

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes

Spock: What is the purpose of a toy?
Sheldon: To be played with.
Spock: Therefore to not play with it would be...?
Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.

Sheldon: Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir.
Stephen Hawking: I know.