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Howard: Hey, I work at the same university you do.
Sheldon: Yes, and Hawkeye's in the Avengers but no one ever says, "Help, Hawkeye!"

Penny: Okay, I don't think Meryl Streep ever had to say (deep voice): "Must keep gorilla hands from killing again."
Raj: If she did, it would be amazing. That woman can do no wrong.

Howard: Is that book called Lies I Tell to Get Sex?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?

Bernadette: Raj, your tag's sticking out.
Raj: Thank you. That's the closest I've come to sex in like 2 years.
Bernadette: Well, I feel gross.
Raj: Now it's making it seem more real for me.

Well, isn't this nice? Sometimes the baby wins.

Sheldon

Screw that! I sat on the floor for 7 years. I'm staying right here!

Raj

Astronaut Massimino: Well, you know how astronauts need to have the "right stuff"?
Howard: Sure.
Astronaut Massimino: The stuff you have is wrong.

Amy: You don't need to explain yourself to him.
Sheldon: I don't need to explain myself to you!
Amy: You're sick of his nonsense and ready to move in wth me.
Sheldon: Keep the table! We don't use that space!
Amy: Damn it, I got cocky.

Sheldon: How do I know that you're not manipulating me right now?
Amy: I think if I were manipulating you, you'd be smart enough to see it.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not saying that as part of the manipulation?

Sheldon: No, I've changed. Like the frog who's put in a pot of water that's heated so gradually he doesn't realize he's boiling to death.
Penny: Or you're the frog who's been kissed by a princess and turned into a prince.
Leonard: Or, you're just a tall, annoying frog.

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay into an acceptable conduit for my will, and then you came along and reshaped him, with your newfangled ideas and your fancy genitals.
Penny: Are you gonna let him talk to me like this?
Leonard: "Fancy" sounds like a compliment.

This is so much better than watching TV like a muggle.

Raj
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 1524 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

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