The Big Bang Theory

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The big bang theory
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Penny: Hi. Want to do yoga with me?
Leonard: Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that.

Now, typically I wear pajamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle and pajamas are the sleep-pants of the Man. I'll have you know, Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him!

Sheldon

Excuse me. Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?

Sheldon

How could you let him go?!

Amy

Leonard: Sheldon...
Sheldon: Yes?
Leonard: I'm gonna miss you.
Sheldon: Of course you are.
Leonard: He just made that easier.

Penny: He'll be okay. You taught him well, Padawan.
Sheldon: Good Lord! Padawan's the student,
not the teacher.
Penny: Seriously, let him go.

Leonard: So a few things don't go your way and your best decision is to ride the rails like a hobo?
Sheldon: I suppose it is. Except I have a credit card. And I refuse to carry my laptop at the end of a stick. And I'd sooner die than eat beans out of a can.

Leonard: I know his password, so I can track his phone.
Penny: You do that?
Leonard: Not always, but ever since he wandered off at the swap meet chasing a balloon, I get worried.
Penny: He can take care of himself. Look, we went over stranger danger and gave him that whistle.

I do not accept this. Everything is changing and I hate it. It stops now.

Sheldon

Amy: Maybe you'll love living alone.
Sheldon: I don't know. Perhaps.
Amy: And if it turns out you don't ... you and I could live together.
Sheldon: You and... Oh, sure. And while we're at it, why don't we get engaged, too? Why don't we get a little house, start a family? Enjoy our sunset years together? Do you hear yourself, woman?!
Amy: Sheldon, it was just a thought.
Sheldon: No. Here's a thought. You're not moving in, Leonard's not moving out, everything stays exactly the way it is.

Sheldon: Move across the hall?! Did you take a marijuana?!
Leonard: No, I did not.
Sheldon: Did you get hit on the head with a coconut?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, then, I'm all out of guesses.

Sheldon: She's spent many nights here, and you're worried about preserving the myth of her virginity before the wedding.
Leonard: I'm not.
Sheldon: Good, because not only has that ship sailed, if it hit an iceberg, countless men would perish.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 1623 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.