Why would she keep something from me? I shared my body with that woman. And my Netflix password.

Sheldon

If we're all gonna die, why am I eating so much kale?

Raj

Oh, I don't mind. I'm very good at complaining. If it were an Olympic Sport I'd complain about what a stupid sport it is, and then I'd take home the gold.

Sheldon

I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we watch the news or something?

Penny

Sheldon: Do you know what else I love about you? Your handwriting is impeccable!
Stuart: Thank you for noticing!
Sheldon: I mean it. I mean, it's like you have the soul of a label-maker.

I've been babysitting him way longer than you have.

Raj

Howard: There's a baby in there!
Bernadette: Oh yeah, that's where I put it.

I hope it's not a West Coast party, because according to the man on the radio, a West Coast party don't stop.

Sheldon

You'll have nerds fawning all over you. If you don't love that, this marriage is in trouble.

Leonard

When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think "hubba hubba" just like any other guy.

Sheldon

Bernadette: I left my phone downstairs!
Howard: Dammit, so did I!
Bernadette: I have my iPad.
Howard: What are you going to do, email 911?!

When we're sleeping, she breathes on me. One night it got so bad I almost grabbed Toto and headed to the storm cellar.

Sheldon

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: It's a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.
Penny: Oh sure, sure. Very Christmasy.
Sheldon: Well, excuse me, it's much more Christmasy than anything you put on the tree.
Leonard: Here we go...
Sheldon: December 25th, 1642. Julian calendar. Sir Issac Newton is born. Jesus, however, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with the traditional pagan holiday that celebrates the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered guts, which frankly sounds like more fun than twelve hours of Church with my mother, followed by fruit cake.