Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Clogzilla. That's pretty funny. I don't think that's gonna pass.

Sheldon

Bernadette: How's your soup?
Howard: Ah, it's all right. They could've filled the bowl a little more.
Raj: [Laughs}
Howard: Excuse me.
Bernadette: Where are you going?
Howard: I need some fresh air.
Emily: Been there.

All my friends love this story. They call you Clogzilla.

Emily

Penny: Wait. What's wrong with geology?
Sheldon: Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. You remember how you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well, geology is the Kardashians of science.

Penny: I gave him a new look. It's cute, huh?
Amy: Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick.
Sheldon: She's right. I'm too hot.

Howard: I hope I get to meet her as soon as possible.
Raj: Why the rush? She isn't going anywhere.
Howard: She is. But I like that attitude.

Sheldon: Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven?
Howard: Maybe. But how great is Game of Thrones?

Raj: I know. Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star.
Howard: Only without the sex.
Raj: Yeah, literally, none of it.

Amy: Y-You'll feel better after you eat.
Sheldon: Okay.
Amy: What-what do you want, like, Thai food? A... a burger?
Sheldon: I don't know!

Emily: How serious were you two?
Raj: Well, to be honest, we only went on four dates, hugged twice, kissed once, and there was a handshake loaded with sexual innuendo.
Emily: Wait, so... a girl you never slept with sent you an e-mail and you felt so guilty about it that you had to tell me?
Raj: Yeah.
Emily: That's kind of adorable.

That was Wil -- he's feeling a lot better. Apparently, he's 12-down in the TV Guide crossword puzzle.

Leonard

Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Huh?
Sheldon: Leonard.
Leonard: PS4.
Sheldon: Wolowitz.
Howard: Both great.
Sheldon: Bernadette.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 1548 in total

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon
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