Raj: Actually, I'm seeing both of them.
Leonard: You mean like through their window from behind a bush?

We'll never win. You always play the drinking game.

Sheldon

Penny: What team did you get?
Leonard: Hufflepuff. From Harry Potter.

Penny: That's not what the forest smells like.
Sheldon: Well how would I know?

I was enjoying some virtual reality. You ruined it with your actual face.

Sheldon

Oh man, when I come out of the closer I'm gonna nail those guys. [pause] Yeah. I heard it. Shut up.

Raj

I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years.

Sheldon

Oh, they went to the store to get solder. Which is metal you melt to make science things.

Penny

Wouldn't it be funny if after all your years of hard work, I'm the one who makes the big scientific discovery?

Penny

Soup, sandwiches, and emasculation. Just like my mom used to make.

Leonard

Howard: See he's not wearing a tie.
Leonard: Well, he's a patent attorney. Maybe his tie is pending.

Are you suggesting a limited liability cooperation? Because I did not LLC that coming.

Sheldon

TBBT Quotes

James Earl Jones: Why don't you and your friends come to Comic-Con with me?
Sheldon: Really?
James Earl Jones: Of course. And San Diego is right across the border from my favorite city on Earth, Tijuana.... where I'm taking you every night!
Sheldon: Ay-yi-yi.
James Earl Jones: Ay-yi-yi. Bang. Bang.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.