Amy: Some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
Penny: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.

You eat it. You're married. It doesn't matter what you look like.

Sheldon

He's having a rough time. Amy broke his heart. The DVR cut off the last minute of Dr. Who. That crow followed him home.

Leonard

I admire your father's work. It's not every day that I get to meet someone who's life journey began in my hero's scrotum.

Sheldon

This is a documentary about Mr. Spock. I'm sure if there is nudity it will be tasteful.

Sheldon

Raj: Oh, hey! High five!
Sheldon: Absolutely not.

Penny: Does the study say what happens to unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.

He has glasses, and I'm a know it all. We're not built for prison.

Sheldon

Sheldon: How do we know you're not going to take the money and drive away?
Leonard: Whatcha doing, Skippy?
Sheldon: Exactly what 1970s crima dramas have taught us.

Howard: What was wrong with that guy?
Raj: Um, he's Indian. We've already got one of those.

Bernadette: You know who went on a date the other night? Stewart.
Penny: Oh, good for him.
Bernadette: I thought so too.
Penny: So is she like, homeless or framing him for a crime?

Raj: Why do you need Kripke? Can't you just go to Party City for helium?
Leonard: We'd have to go to every Party City in California.
Howard: Sounds like you on Cinco de Mayo.
Raj: Hey, people were still talking about that party on Siete de Mayo.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon