I hope you're right. Because a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.

Sheldon

So did you defile my mother, or not?

Sheldon

Excuse me, that is my mother you're talking about! However accurately...

Sheldon

I'm telling ya, I'm not on drugs. The government is out to get me!

Howard

Alfred: I have prayed to God many times... to turn my wife into a pillar of salt.
Mary: Well he came close. He turned her into a block of ice.

You can't ignore it. It's not that postcard that says it's time to go back to the dentist.

Raj

Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire.

Sheldon

Penny: And when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug.
Leonard: Did she think you were choking, or...?

I'm still human, Penny. Not getting invited to my own son's wedding is difficult to ignore.

Beverly

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but sticks on chairs are comfy.

Raj

You know the golden rule of line etiquette. No cuts, no butts, no coconuts.

Sheldon

Atom of Hydrogen, Adam of Maroon 5. Mic drop.

Leonard

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.