Oh, I don't mind. I'm very good at complaining. If it were an Olympic Sport I'd complain about what a stupid sport it is, and then I'd take home the gold.

Sheldon

I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we watch the news or something?

Penny

Sheldon: Do you know what else I love about you? Your handwriting is impeccable!
Stuart: Thank you for noticing!
Sheldon: I mean it. I mean, it's like you have the soul of a label-maker.

I've been babysitting him way longer than you have.

Raj

Howard: There's a baby in there!
Bernadette: Oh yeah, that's where I put it.

I hope it's not a West Coast party, because according to the man on the radio, a West Coast party don't stop.

Sheldon

You'll have nerds fawning all over you. If you don't love that, this marriage is in trouble.

Leonard

When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think "hubba hubba" just like any other guy.

Sheldon

Bernadette: I left my phone downstairs!
Howard: Dammit, so did I!
Bernadette: I have my iPad.
Howard: What are you going to do, email 911?!

When we're sleeping, she breathes on me. One night it got so bad I almost grabbed Toto and headed to the storm cellar.

Sheldon

Amy: Okay, well for starters, there's nothing wrong with keeping our toothbrushes in the same holder.
Penny: Sheldon, what do you say to that?
Sheldon: I think we should see other people.

Oh, don't worry. Once you see my sweet moves, sex is inevitable.

Leonard

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."

Sheldon