No matter where I am, this will always be my spot.

Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon I understand your apprehension, but let me appeal to the scientist in you. Given the five week end date, isn't it the perfect opportunity to consider this an experiment and collect data on our compatibility?
Sheldon: Don't try to lure me in with sexy talk.

We live with Sheldon, so the word inconvenience has really lost all meaning.

Leonard

You can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.

Leonard

Sheldon: I can't figure out the math. I've been wracking my brain for days. I've got nothing.
Leonard: Seriously?
Sheldon: I can't do it. I'm not as smart as I think I am. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.

Now Sheldon's popular? What is happening?!

Penny

I am cool. This is YooHoo. Chocolate milk's delicious, watery cousin.

Sheldon

I'm clearly upset. Why aren't you following me?

Bernadette

Not every girl dreams about being a mom. Sometimes you think you're never going to have kids, and one day you wake up and you're pregnant, and it doesn't matter that your career's going great right now and that you and your husband never even got to go anywhere taped to a dog!

Bernadette

What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Bernadette

Look guys, it's just a guidance system. It's not like you're handing us the Death Star from Star Trek.

Colonel Williams

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the DOVE BARS I ATE. I'M PREGNANT. Try to keep up!

TBBT Quotes

Given that St. Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

Sheldon

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.