Oh man, when I come out of the closer I'm gonna nail those guys. [pause] Yeah. I heard it. Shut up.


I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years.


Oh, they went to the store to get solder. Which is metal you melt to make science things.


Wouldn't it be funny if after all your years of hard work, I'm the one who makes the big scientific discovery?


Soup, sandwiches, and emasculation. Just like my mom used to make.


Howard: See he's not wearing a tie.
Leonard: Well, he's a patent attorney. Maybe his tie is pending.

Are you suggesting a limited liability cooperation? Because I did not LLC that coming.


Is the fetus helping you? Because that's cheating.


Penny: Sheldon, did you draft the contract?
Sheldon: You bet I did.
Penny [to Amy]: You're gonna make out so hard tonight.

You're more than just my roommate. You're my partner.


Bernadette: What kind of cake do you like?
Sheldon: My favorite is chocolate with strawberry frosting, three layers. And if there's writing on it, make sure it's not all caps. I don't want my dessert yelling at me.

Can we please drop this subject and pick a new one? I suggest, how thick can a soup get before it becomes a stew. The answer -- it may surprise you.


TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.