Penny: You look like a talking cupcake!
Pageant Bernadette: And you should pick me for Miss California Quiznos 1999, because I want to...Tell you what I want, what I really really want I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna Really, really, really be Miss California Quiznos 1999!

You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy just how horny I can be.

Sheldon

Leonard: Uh, another one says, "The concept shows some real out-of-the-box thinking".
Sheldon: Do you hear that, Mr. Out-Of-The?
Leonard: I do, indeed, Mr. Box-Thinking.

Leonard: You're sure it's good?
Sheldon: My name is right on there with yours. That is a surefire
mark of quality. That might as well say "Directed by Joss Whedon".
Leonard: Okay, partner, let's do it.

Leonard: You wrote a paper on my idea?
Sheldon: I wrote a paper on our idea.
Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldony goodness and cooked it in the Easy-Bake Oven of my mind.
Leonard: This is good. Our idea is really good.
Sheldon: Well, the light bulb in this oven is ridiculously bright.

Leonard: You're giving me a sticker?
Sheldon: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying, "Me-wow!"
Leonard: I'm not a preschooler.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll take it back
Leonard: I earned this! Back off!

Leonard: This... is exciting. This is really exciting. I have to go find Sheldon.
Penny: Okay, well, if you find him, use the kitchen island- that coffee table will not support both of you.

Penny: Yeah, I listen to what you say. You're building a particle detector using superfluid helium.
Leonard: You know, when you talk like that, I want to take you right here on this table.
Penny: And you know from past experience this table cannot support both our weight.

Penny: Sheldon, we are just people. we talk about the same things you guys talk about.
Sheldon: You talk about if werewolves can swim?

Sheldon: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze it gets a food pellet.
Amy: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
Sheldon: And its last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.

I love him, but if he's broken, let's not get a new one.

Penny

Sheldon: Nothing more fun than a paradigm shifting evening of science.
Penny: (to Leonard) And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.

TBBT Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj