Who leaves their bike in the hallway? You know, if I knew how to ride one, I'd steal it.

Sheldon

Everything is stupid, and I want to go home.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Would you care for a brandy?
Amy: No, thank you.
Sheldon: Good choice. It's disgusting.

Sheldon: And you realize what the next step is.
Amy: Set up a second culture and try to replicate our results.
Sheldon: Uh, no. We lock that door, lower our underpants a little, and make a baby.

Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner time, do you enjoy eating food?

Raj

Penny: How come you don't ever eat broccoli?
Leonard: I'm married. I don't have to be attractive.

Raj: Well I can't eat like a ten year old all the time.
Penny: You're dating somebody! Who is it?

Oh my god. I just got it. Fun onions. Funions. Hahahaha!

Raj

Leonard: She took my Where's Waldo!
Sheldon: Well no, no. He's over there.
Leonard: Oh yeah, there he is.

Howard: And how single are you right now?
Raj: Eating cake on the toilet single.

Why would she keep something from me? I shared my body with that woman. And my Netflix password.

Sheldon

If we're all gonna die, why am I eating so much kale?

Raj

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."

Sheldon