The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Sheldon: Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Now, have-have you tried doing that?
Officer Hernandez: Nope.
Sheldon: Well, maybe you should. Th-th-there's lots of books called "Sherlock Holmes" and there's no books called "Officer Hernandez."

Howard: Creepy chummy, like you and your dog.
Raj: She feeds him out of her own mouth?
Howard: I mean, he calls her Debbie, she calls him Stewie and they're all giggly around each other. And believe me, when food goes in that mouth, it does not come out.

Penny: Hi. Want to do yoga with me?
Leonard: Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that.

Now, typically I wear pajamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle and pajamas are the sleep-pants of the Man. I'll have you know, Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him!

Sheldon

Excuse me. Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?

Sheldon

How could you let him go?!

Amy

Leonard: Sheldon...
Sheldon: Yes?
Leonard: I'm gonna miss you.
Sheldon: Of course you are.
Leonard: He just made that easier.

Penny: He'll be okay. You taught him well, Padawan.
Sheldon: Good Lord! Padawan's the student,
not the teacher.
Penny: Seriously, let him go.

Leonard: So a few things don't go your way and your best decision is to ride the rails like a hobo?
Sheldon: I suppose it is. Except I have a credit card. And I refuse to carry my laptop at the end of a stick. And I'd sooner die than eat beans out of a can.

Leonard: I know his password, so I can track his phone.
Penny: You do that?
Leonard: Not always, but ever since he wandered off at the swap meet chasing a balloon, I get worried.
Penny: He can take care of himself. Look, we went over stranger danger and gave him that whistle.

I do not accept this. Everything is changing and I hate it. It stops now.

Sheldon

Amy: Maybe you'll love living alone.
Sheldon: I don't know. Perhaps.
Amy: And if it turns out you don't ... you and I could live together.
Sheldon: You and... Oh, sure. And while we're at it, why don't we get engaged, too? Why don't we get a little house, start a family? Enjoy our sunset years together? Do you hear yourself, woman?!
Amy: Sheldon, it was just a thought.
Sheldon: No. Here's a thought. You're not moving in, Leonard's not moving out, everything stays exactly the way it is.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1565 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

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