Penny: Wow, I find that hard to believe.
Leonard: That a bunch of awkward scientists with no social skills would invent a machine to do it for them?
Penny: I take it back. I believe it.

Raj: I broke up with her.
Leonard: Why?
Raj: She said she didn't want to see me anymore, and I found that insulting.

Amy: I remember when we signed our first relationship agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the no nostalgia clause.

I'd pull this car over and kick you out, but if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.

Leonard

Sheldon: At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard: Because we just spent all our allowance on comic books.

Pink wine and pizza bagels? It's like 8th grade all over again.

Penny

Now while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.

Sheldon

I don't know. I am her precious little boy, and you did take my flower.

Sheldon

It was fine, other than the weird tasting juice Amy gave me. I slept the whole way.

Sheldon

Good Lord, is that mistletoe? Do you maniacs not own a calendar?

Sheldon

Oh you know, the Lone Star state, that should be its yelp rating.

Sheldon

I thought I'd let Harry Potter... make things hotter.

Amy

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."

Sheldon