Raj: Well I can't eat like a ten year old all the time.
Penny: You're dating somebody! Who is it?

Oh my god. I just got it. Fun onions. Funions. Hahahaha!

Raj

Leonard: She took my Where's Waldo!
Sheldon: Well no, no. He's over there.
Leonard: Oh yeah, there he is.

Howard: And how single are you right now?
Raj: Eating cake on the toilet single.

Why would she keep something from me? I shared my body with that woman. And my Netflix password.

Sheldon

If we're all gonna die, why am I eating so much kale?

Raj

Oh, I don't mind. I'm very good at complaining. If it were an Olympic Sport I'd complain about what a stupid sport it is, and then I'd take home the gold.

Sheldon

I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we watch the news or something?

Penny

Sheldon: Do you know what else I love about you? Your handwriting is impeccable!
Stuart: Thank you for noticing!
Sheldon: I mean it. I mean, it's like you have the soul of a label-maker.

I've been babysitting him way longer than you have.

Raj

Howard: There's a baby in there!
Bernadette: Oh yeah, that's where I put it.

I hope it's not a West Coast party, because according to the man on the radio, a West Coast party don't stop.

Sheldon

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon