Leonard: You wrote a paper on my idea?
Sheldon: I wrote a paper on our idea.
Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldony goodness and cooked it in the Easy-Bake Oven of my mind.
Leonard: This is good. Our idea is really good.
Sheldon: Well, the light bulb in this oven is ridiculously bright.

Leonard: You're giving me a sticker?
Sheldon: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying, "Me-wow!"
Leonard: I'm not a preschooler.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll take it back
Leonard: I earned this! Back off!

Leonard: This... is exciting. This is really exciting. I have to go find Sheldon.
Penny: Okay, well, if you find him, use the kitchen island- that coffee table will not support both of you.

Penny: Yeah, I listen to what you say. You're building a particle detector using superfluid helium.
Leonard: You know, when you talk like that, I want to take you right here on this table.
Penny: And you know from past experience this table cannot support both our weight.

Penny: Sheldon, we are just people. we talk about the same things you guys talk about.
Sheldon: You talk about if werewolves can swim?

Sheldon: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze it gets a food pellet.
Amy: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
Sheldon: And its last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.

I love him, but if he's broken, let's not get a new one.

Penny

Sheldon: Nothing more fun than a paradigm shifting evening of science.
Penny: (to Leonard) And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.

Do you realize I don't live with the woman I love because of you?

Leonard

Sheldon: There were plenty of ways to pass the time before smartphones were invented.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: I'll look them up... Oh, son of a biscuit!

What kind of scientist are you? everyone knows you've gotta make two out of three!

Raj

Raj: No, I'm not okay. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.
Bernadette: I told you not to wax down there.

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.