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Howard: You reported me to human resources?
Sheldon: You violated the sanctity of my mouth.
Howard: Well, I dropped your class, so I hope you're happy.
- Permalink: Well, I dropped your class, so I hope you're happy.
Sheldon: What are you doing now?
Howard: Making a straw.
Howard: So I can shoot you with a spitball.
Sheldon: You're not going to do that, and I'll tell you why. This is an institution of higher learning, I am your professor, and you're going to treat me with the prop... You shot your spit in my mouth!
Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I could do that again.
Sheldon: What are you doing?
Howard: If you're gonna be a crappy teacher, then I'm gonna be a crappy student.
- Permalink: If you're gonna be a crappy teacher, then I'm gonna be a crappy student.
I can't believe I have to waste my time babysitting a bunch of grad students who probably think dark matter is what's in their diapers.Sheldon
Something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeney.Raj
- Permalink: Something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeney.
I'm saying, in the spirit of science, what is that little skank's problem?Amy
Amy: I'm stimulating the pleasures of this starfish. I just need to turn it off.
Penny: What happens if you don't?
Amy: Then I have to sit through lunch knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.
Sheldon: So your solution is to promote me and pay me more money so tha tI can impart my knowledge to the next generation of scientists?
Mrs. Davis: Yes.
Sheldon: You people are sick.
- Permalink: You people are sick.
Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.
As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.Sheldon
Be right there, Deb Deb!Stuart
- Permalink: Be right there, Deb Deb!
Bernadette: Why don't I get you a job at the Sitting Around All Day Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?
Penny: They're comfortable.
- Permalink: They're comfortable.