Alfred: I have prayed to God many times... to turn my wife into a pillar of salt.
Mary: Well he came close. He turned her into a block of ice.

You can't ignore it. It's not that postcard that says it's time to go back to the dentist.

Raj

Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire.

Sheldon

Penny: And when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug.
Leonard: Did she think you were choking, or...?

I'm still human, Penny. Not getting invited to my own son's wedding is difficult to ignore.

Beverly

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but sticks on chairs are comfy.

Raj

You know the golden rule of line etiquette. No cuts, no butts, no coconuts.

Sheldon

Atom of Hydrogen, Adam of Maroon 5. Mic drop.

Leonard

That offer is only good until the third trimester. I can't risk getting amniotic fluid on my spot.

Sheldon

Sheldon. Oh come on. Roller coasters, caffeine, runny eggs. I've been avoiding these things all my life, and now because you're pregnant, you have to.

Wine again? No, thank you. I like my grapes the old fashioned way. In a juice box.

Sheldon

Raj: I do enjoy the complexity of an aged pinot noir.
Leonard: I'm sure that would pair nicely with your fine nuggets of chicken.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary: They're practicing for what's coming later.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.