The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Sheldon: You're 15th favorite technological visionary.
Steve Wozniak: Only fifteenth?
Sheldon: It's still six spots above Steve Jobs. I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship.
Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community college education, I encourage you to ask as many as possible.
Raj: You slipped and fell into a robot hand?
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes. Now help me!
Leonard: I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.
Penny: OK. Well, then, there's a couple of things you should probably know.
Sheldon: I have a master's degree and two doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.
Sheldon: Amy pointed out that, between the two of us, our genetic material has the potential of producing the first in a line of intellectually superior, benign overlords to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow.
Wolowitz: I'm guessing that future historians will condemn us for not taking this opportunity to kill Sheldon.
Apparently, a semi-incestuous Teens for Jesus hoedown didn't count.
Sheldon
Penny: You have nice hair.
Amy: Are you a homosexual?
Penny: No!
Amy: Would have been more flattered if you were a homosexual.
You have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigor. Is your womb available for rental?
Sheldon
At best, it's a modest leap forward from the technology that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.
Sheldon
I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance
Amy
Howard wanted to write "mumbo jumbo," but I said no, our Sheldon would say "hokum."
Raj
That's not afternoon. That's prevening.
Sheldon
