Boy if my mom could see me now, she'd lock me in the sin closet.

Amy

Penny: Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift.
Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies. I see what people do.

I've loved you since the moment we met, and I'll love you until the end of time.

Leonard

Leonard: Penny, after all these years, I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you.
Penny: Okay, that is the lamest excuse you could have possibly come up with. But I get it.
Leonard: You do?
Penny: Yeah. Sometimes I worry I'm gonna wake up, and you're going to leave me for someone like you.

The show must go on, and thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.

Sheldon

Finally, there's a Mrs. Hofstadter that isn't disappointed in me.

Leonard

Bernadette: Aw, that was beautiful.
Howard: Yeah, I mean not like our wedding, beautiful.
Bernadette: No, we totally won.

We make everyone feel awkward. That's our thing.

Sheldon

Some important new information has come to light. Women are the worst. I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong. No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.

Sheldon

Whatever. Put us on the internet. I've always wanted a wedding with a comments section.

Penny

Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Awww, thank you.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.

My aunt and uncle were married sixty-three years. Towards the end it was like watching cheese melt.

Sheldon

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.