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The-big-bang-theory

She hid my Xbox like I'm a child. And, my mom got me that for my birthday so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.

Howard

Sheldon: Wow. This is truly remarkable.
Alex: Thank you.
Sheldon: I think I'll keep it for myself.
Alex: What about your girlfriend?
Sheldon: It's too late, I call dibbs.

Sheldon: But, she has Google maps on her phone.
Alex: I don't know how to respond to that.

Clearly, I made the right choice farming this out to you. But, I am telling you, Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot. My socks are on, knock them off.

Sheldon

Howard: A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
Leonard: From her micro-husband.

Or maybe something a little less hands in the pants.

Stuart

I was going to spend the night with my special little lady, but she got worms and I had to take her to the vet.

Raj

Well, this time is going to be different because I'm a like a romance ninja. You don't see it coming and then BAM. Romance, watch out, hearts, kisses, love, ewww wah.

Leonard

Penny: No, I said "Oh my God, I think that old guy's choking" and one of the busboy's Heimlich'd him.
Leonard: You're a hero...
Penny: Yeah ... that was the point of the story.

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