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At this point, I'm just glad that I get to ride down the stairs.

Professor Proton

And, the puppeteer, who did Gino, well, he also ... did my wife.

Professor Proton

Professor Proton: I'm having trouble with my pacemaker.
Leonard: I'll call for help.
Penny: Any chance we could plug it into the potato?
Professor Proton: No.

Penny: If you don't mind me asking, uh, the potato clock -- how does it work? Is it a trick clock or a trick potato?
Professor Proton [to Leonard]: What do you two talk about?

Professor Proton: I power a clock with a potato.
Penny: Shut up! You can do that? I mean ... wouldn't that solve the world's energy crisis?
Professor Proton: No.

Howard: When this all blows over, remember that voice. It's kind of a turn-on.
Bernadette: It turns you on when I sound like Raj?

I'm ... I'm awake, right? This is happening?

Professor Proton

You-you two are-are physicists, and-and want me to do a children's science show?

Professor Proton

Professor Proton: Is the blond girl really your girlfriend?
Leonard: Yes, sir.
Professor Proton: You're the genius.

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