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The-big-bang-theory

Yikes, this guy is worse than Wil Wheaton.

Amy

You insulted my woman. I'm here to defend her honor.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Get the Mad Hatter on the horn, I'm having a tea party.
Penny: You might want to pace yourself.
Sheldon: I drink tea all the time. I think I know what I'm doing.
Penny: Far be it from me to criticize a man with a full pubis.

Howard: Boy, if these walls could talk.
Leonard: They'd say, "Why does he touch himself so much?"
Howard: Yeah.

Howard: So, this one's on God.
Bernadette: That might be a little more convincing if you didn't have a mouth full of bacon cheeseburger.
Howard: My religion's kinda loosey-goosy. Basically, as long as you have your schmekel clipped and don't wear a cross, you're good.

Wow, Amy's mad and Leonard was right. What a weird day.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Eat one of your Luna bars. Very often when women think they're angry they're really just hungry.
Amy: I'm not hungry!

Feel free to play with yourself.

Sheldon[to Wil Wheaton after handing him a Wesley action figure]

Wil Wheaton: You do realize I'm doing this for free, right?
Amy: Yes and so far we're still not getting our money's worth.

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