Shelley: What'd he do to you?
Jordan: Your husband, his brother, and some mysterious third FUCKTARD destroyed my life.

You know, I don't know my fairy tales very well, but in the three piggies? I don't think the wolf made it.

Eddie

Jordan: Tell me who the third pig is.
Eddie: You're really hung up on this eye for an eye shit, huh? And what happens when you do find him?
Jordan: I'll kill him.
Eddie: I don't buy that for one second. You're no killer. Try again.

Jordan: You killed yourself, you crazy drug addict! It's all on you.
Eddie: And you're not responsible for any of it. Not accountability or culpability. That story sounds really familiar. Oh wait, that's my story.

Jordan: No one was supposed to die.
Eddie: That's my line.
Jordan: You're not really here.
Eddie: Of course I'm not.

No one was supposed to die. I'm sorry.

Eddie

Fuck dreaming. You do one wrong thing, it leads to another wrong thing. Next thing you know you're stuck in a bunch of wrongs you're looking for an easy way out. Except nothin's easy. It should be. Maybe it is for some people. Not for me. I just wish one thing could be easy.

Eddie

This isn't what I wanted for us. For me. I had a whole other life in mind.

Eddie

Kayla: No, no, it's good. I, uh. I just didn't realize what big ears you have. Or what big eyes you have.
Nick: Says the girl with the wolf tattoo, yeah. Mmm hmmm.
Kayla: Oh, and look at those chompers.
Nick: What?!

Madeline: Back then, I thought you and Gabe were better off without me.
Hannah: And now?
Madeline: Now, it's not up to me.

You California people. You have no idea how quickly the weather can change here.

Colleen

Beth: Please be the man that I fell in love with.
Jordan: I can't. That man is gone. Now all that's left is a man with a gun.

Tell Me a Story Quotes

Can we please not ruin another dinner talking about Trump?

Jordan

Oh, don't you look nice. Very sexy. I was slutty when I was your age, too.

Colleen