Garrett: It's me! I look like Uncle Phil! Man, why'd you do that stupid Google search?!
Jonah: Woah, calm down.
Garrett: No, I'm not gonna calm down! You calm down! You're always starting stuff! "Hey, Garrett. Let's Google how to murder somebody." Well, you happy now? What's next?! "Hey, Garrett. Let's tell Zephra to email the police and tell them I just planted a bomb in the store!"

So to reiterate, we must download an app that can track our phones, and then we must carry our phones at all times. And everybody here is just fine with that?


Justine: Oh my God! You did it! You got us cars!
Sandra: I did?
Justine: Zephra just sent a mass email saying that Cloud 9 employees now get 50% off all Lyfts nationwide.

Kira: Tell me what you think we could do to make your lives better.
Jonah: Actually, for a long time now, we've been trying to get Cloud 9 to address—
Amy: Address our breakfast needs! Which, by the way, you killed it today with the cereal bar!
Sandra: And also, getting to work in the morning can be tough for us—
Amy: Which is why it's so great that we get to arrive and be greeted by the cereal bar! Anyway, that's it. That's all we wanted to say.

Amy: Oh, crap! I totally forgot I set this up. I mean, I know we said we weren't going to do anything for Valentine's Day but-
Jonah: Oh, okay. So, you're allowed to break an agreement, but if I do it—wait is that the guy from our first date?
Amy: Yes. You said you loved him.
Jonah: That was very thoughtful.
Amy: I know.
Jonah: Is that gnocchi?
Amy: Yes, your favorite!
Jonah: I love gnocchi.
Amy: I know!

It's Valentine's Day. I had to follow my heart.


Glenn: I'm just glad that you don't have any problems.
Garrett: I don't have any! And I'm not thinking about my life. I'm just being quiet 'cause you walked away.

Amy: Hey, Sandra. Listen. I know Dina's been all over the place, but just trust me. It was for a good reason.
Sandra: Was it her? Was it bad?
Dina: Almost.
Sandra: Is it over?
Dina: It's over.

Dina: What are you doing now? Are you gonna kill Sandra's cat?
Amy: Dina, she's not gonna kill the-
Carol: I'm gonna kill the cat!

Mateo: You sure you want all this? I hate doing this to you.
Eric: This is not something you're doing to me. This is something we're doing to each other.

Amy: This is really awkward, but I have to fire you from Sandra's wedding.
Jonah: Aw, man. I get zero perks from dating the boss.

Look, man. You don't have to prove anything. It's just that you're in a different phase in your life right now and that's okay.


Superstore Quotes

It was nice of corporate to wait an entire week before they reminded us we're just as replaceable as Mateo.


Jonah: I think he likes Taylor Swift.
Cheyenne: No, he's back to hating her again.