This is private investigating Dex. You're not doing your job right unless a few folks want you dead.


You smell like sex and salmon.


Listen if we do this, it's not because you seduced me, okay? It's because I wanna get off.


Cosgrove: So is he a liar or a suspect?
Hoffman: That's what I'm trying to figure out his alibi is that he was at his bar the night of the murder.
Cosgrove: Oh, what's the bar.
Hoffman: The bad alibi.
Cosgrove: That is an unfortunate name.

Stephanie: Look who it is, America's least favorite white cis-gendered P.I.
Artie: I have no idea what the hell that is, but I'm sure I hate it.

Hoffman: Artie's a legend in these streets, but no one seems to know why he left the force back in the day.
Artie: I don't know what kind of car you drive, but I'm pretty sure it's not a sick mustang.

You got talent. You're green, but you could be good Dex.


Artie: First rule of private investigation: manipulation is your best weapon.

Dex: What the hell is that?
Artie: I'm not sure exactly I just know that it's expensive.

Good thing it's trash day.


Dex: You seem like a really nice guy, and this is, this is nice, I like, but I can't cross the line because if I if, I do I mess it up. I kill everything.
Grey: Well, here's a crazy idea, what if we just don't cross the line again?
Dex: Well, what does that make us then, huh, I mean.
Grey: I think it makes us friends.
Dex: Friends. I guess we just dodged a bullet.

Cosgrove: It pains me physically to say this, but you had some good instincts on this one.
Dex: Did I?

  • Permalink: Did I?
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Stumptown Quotes

Ansel: I wanted to see how much you lost.
Dex: Punk.

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Dex: Well you know what they say in Pashto, he who spreads his own goat dung is bound to step in it.
Guy: Pash-
Dex: To. Yeah, it’s what they speak in the stan.
Guy: Yeah.
Dex: Yeah anyone who actually served there would know that. Your dog tags don’t match the name on your credit card and nothing about your car keys says rental, so I’m guessing you’re not in from out of town either. I know you asked if I was from around here figuring we could go back to my place probably ‘cause there’s a woman back at yours.
Guy: Uh.
Dex: Hesitation, it’s when your body says yes before your mouth can say no, i.e., until you get your lies straight. I’m pretty sure only one of us is getting lucky tonight.