Petey: I didn't ask, and he wouldn't have told me. Obvi.
Hoffman: Obvi?
Petey: Teenage granddaughter

Dex: The truth is I drink a little bit too much sometimes, my best friend is a felon, and I haven't been able to hold down a real job in about ten years. But this, this I'm good at. I don't know why, but I am, and you seem pretty cynical about the whole thing, and maybe one day I will be too, but from where I'm sitting right now that chalupa is smelling pretty damn good. Yeah, wrong answer.
Janet: It was honest.

Frank: That's interesting. I've never had a bloody mary, with what is that, pineapple juice?
Dex: It's a work in progress. Aren't we all?

Good question. The reason we're rushing is because I'm an escaped convict, and it's not really in my best interest to spend too much time in any one location. I would love to just chill here in Portland for a few weeks, hit up some microbreweries but that's just not in the cards. So, anyone else have anything to share with the group? Comments? Concerns?


Artie: I've got this strange sensation, I can't describe it, all over, it's like.
Dex: Like you give a crap.
Artie: So that's what it feels like?

Artie: I never thought I'd say this, but I'm beginning to like the feel of this team.
Dex: So now we're a team?
Artie: The grizzled storied P.I. Regained his humanity and his trusted sidekick.
Dex: How am I the sidekick?
Artie: Riding like cowboy avengers into the night. Of course, you're gonna have to change your name.
Dex: What's wrong with my name?
Artie: It's unletterheadable. Banks and Parios come on no one's gonna hire an outfit like that.

Cosgrove: You thought you were attacking your own vehicle.
Dex: Yeah, I read on line actually that um my mustang is the only model year where they built a pinata inside the car. It turns out that that was a hoax cooked up by one of those weirdo deep web guys. So, that is the last time that I ever believe anything I read on the internet. Lesson learned.

Dex: Suck it, Artie.
Artie: How sweet it is to be loved by you.

Dex: No, I think I get it. It's not enough for you to win. If someone crosses you, you have to destroy them.
Randall: Sounds like you know what you're up against.
Dex: Sure do.

Wanna ask me what's in my pants? I took the duplicate files and the originals knowing if I got caught with originals they would never suspect I also took the duplicates. Jason Bourne.


Hey, um, today I got beat. I lost, we lost. Artie sold me out and it, it pisses me off, and it pisses me off that my mistake could cost you your child. But they're not gonna get away with this, okay? You know they think we're just gonna lie down and take it. Yeah, you know, they have the power, and they have the influence and, but you know what? They're arrogant sons of bitches, and they don't know that women like us have been fighting our entire lives for everything. Randall's gonna pay and Artie's gonna pay for what he did and I, I won't lose again.


Artie: You are incredibly talented, but there is one thing standing in the way of you being an exceptional private investigator: You care.

  • Permalink: You care.
  • Added:

Stumptown Quotes

Ansel: I wanted to see how much you lost.
Dex: Punk.

  • Permalink: Punk.
  • Added:

Dex: Well you know what they say in Pashto, he who spreads his own goat dung is bound to step in it.
Guy: Pash-
Dex: To. Yeah, it’s what they speak in the stan.
Guy: Yeah.
Dex: Yeah anyone who actually served there would know that. Your dog tags don’t match the name on your credit card and nothing about your car keys says rental, so I’m guessing you’re not in from out of town either. I know you asked if I was from around here figuring we could go back to my place probably ‘cause there’s a woman back at yours.
Guy: Uh.
Dex: Hesitation, it’s when your body says yes before your mouth can say no, i.e., until you get your lies straight. I’m pretty sure only one of us is getting lucky tonight.