Boyfriends lie. All. The. Time.

Max

How many children are you friends with?

Robin

I dump your ass.

Eleven

Man: Comrade-General, we are close. You can see. You can see our progress. We just need more ti--.
[COMRADE GENERAL walks over to Alexi as one of his men grabs the man.]
Comrade-General: You have one year.
Alexi: Yes, Comrade-General.

Mike: Oh, my god. That was priceless. Did you see his face?
Eleven: It was like a tomato.
Mike: Yeah, a fat tomato.
Eleven: Yeah, a fat tomato.
Mike: I know. Me too. But I'll see you tomorrow, all right? First thing.
Eleven: Tomorrow.

Lucas: Is that a new zit?
Max: What is wrong with you?

Dustin: This is Gold Leader returning to base. Do you copy? Over. This is Gold Leader returning to base. Do you copy? Over. I repeat: This is Gold Leader returning to base. Do you copy? Over. I repeat: This is goddamm Gold Leader---
Dustin's Mom: Dusty!
Dustin: What?
Dustin: Relax! For goodness' sake!
Dustin: I'm in range. They should be answering.
Dustin's Mom: You've been away a whole month, honeybun. Maybe they just... forgot.

Robin: Hey Dingus? Your children are here.
Steve: Again? Seriously?

Steve: I swear if anybody here's about this--
All: We're dead.

Hey, Lard-ass. No running on my watch! I gotta warn you again, and you're banned for life. You wanna be banned for life, lard-ass?

Billie

Mike: See Lucas, we made it.
Lucas: We missed the previews.
Max: Still made it, Fart Face.

Woman: Watch it.
Erica: Yeah, watch it, nerds.
Lucas: Isn't it past your bedtime?
Erica: Isn't it time you died?
Lucas: Psycho.
Erica: Butthead.
Lucas: Mall Rat.
Erica: Fart Face!