South Park Season 5 Quotes
Kyle: Stan, you can't leave!
Stan: (Talking about Kenny) I'm not the one who's leaving, he is!
- Permalink: Stan, you can't leave! I'm not the one who's leaving, he is!
Principal: Hello, boys.
Stan: Wait, what's going on here?
Kyle: Alright look, we don't know for sure why Cartman is ditching school, but it has something to do with abortions.That's all we know.
Mr. Mackey: You didn't do anything wrong, boys; We just need to talk to you. Have a seat.
(Stan and Kyle sit down)
Mr. Mackey: Well boys, your little friend, Kenny, went to the hospital last night, m'kay? And well...he's pretty sick.
Kyle: Kenny's sick?
Stan: Well, how sick?
Chef: Children, Kenny has been diagnosed with a terminal disease.
Stan: But the doctor's are gonna make him better, right?
Sharon: Oh, dear.
Stan But mom, that's what hospitals are for, they can make him better.
Sharon: Oh, Randy.
Randy: They don't think so, Stanley. Your friend is terminally ill, and that means--well son...that means he's gonna be going to Heaven soon.
Kyle: Wait, Kenny's going to die?
Gerald: He might, Kyle.
Stan: But he's our f-f-friend.
Mr. Mackey: We know, and that's why he's going to need you boys to be strong for him, m'kay? He needs you now, more then ever.
Stan: No! This can't happen! Kenny can't die! Kenny can't die!
(Stan begins sobbing into his dad's shoulder)
- Permalink: Hello, boys. Wait, what's going on here? Alright look, we do...
(singing) Why can't I be like all the other kids, they all have three bedroom homes, and broken trucks on their lawns, and cut up hotdogs for lunch. It's not my fault my parents succeed so much. There's no one in town I can relate to, I play with autographed baseball bats while everyone else just plays with sticks and pinecones. Has a boy ever felt so alone. Well who needs them anyway, I won't pretend I'm something I'm not. If I can't be poor, I've got to deal with what i've got. If I can't be like them, what I need is more rich kids around, so I'm not the only one and then I won't be so down. Please God... send more rich kids... to my town.Token
- Permalink: Why can't I be like all the other kids, they all have three bedr...
(to Mrs. Jane Smith) Yeah, that's right cash tucker! Have fun with your two-million dollar house!Mr. Garrison
- Permalink: Yeah, that's right cash tucker! Have fun with your two-million d...
Mr. Garrison: Now we can sell all their homes and become millionares.
Jimbo: But then you had us all do all that for nothing, don't you see if you get rich selling these homes then there'd still be rich people in South Park.
Randy Marsh: Yeah, you'll become what you hate.
Mr. Garrison:........Yeah but at least I got rid of all those damn ni[South Park ending theme]
- Permalink: Now we can sell all their homes and become millionares. WHAT?!...
Remember - it doesn't matter who wins. It matters who wins three times in a row.Rich Kid
- Permalink: Remember - it doesn't matter who wins. It matters who wins three...
Cartman: I'll make you eat your parents.
Ms. Choksondik: What did you say?
- Permalink: I'll make you eat your parents. What did you say? Nothing
Stan: Just because we rip on you for being rich doesn't mean we don't like you.
Kyle: Yeah we're guys dude; we find something about all our friends to rip on. We make fun of you for being rich like we rip on Butters for acting wimpy.
Butters: They sure do.
Stan: Yeah and like we rip on Kyle for being a Jew.
Kyle: And Stan for being in love with Wendy.
Stan: Yeah I get it for that.
Kyle: And Cartman for being fat.
Cartman: Uh huh.
Kyle: And Cartman for being stupid.
Kyle: And Cartman for having a whore for a mom.
Kyle: And Cartman for being a sadistic asshole.
Cartman: Ay!! You did me already.
Token: You're right guys, for now on I'm find for being made fun of for being rich.
Stan: Oh we're not going to rip on you for being rich anymore.
Token: You're not?
Kyle: No dude, since you got your feelings so hurt for being ripped on, now we think you're a pussy.
Stan: Yeah now you're a pussy, pussaholic.
Kyle: Come on nurse Token we're going to play football ya puss.
Butters: Yeah what a pussy.
Craig: Yeah that guy's a pussy.
- Permalink: Just because we rip on you for being rich doesn't mean we don't ...
How many rich people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! They can hire someone to screw it in for them!Jimbo
- Permalink: How many rich people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None...