Oh geez, I don't wanna get the AIDS fellas.

Butters

• Permalink: Oh geez, I don't wanna get the AIDS fellas.
• Added: August 18, 2010

Stan: Don't look at Butters' schlong, gaymo!
Cartman: (in panicking voice) I wasn't looking as his schlong, I was seeing how to put the condom on!
Kyle: Sure.

• Permalink: Don't look at Butters' schlong, gaymo! I wasn't looking as hi...
• Added: August 18, 2010

Stan: Cartman, what the hell are you doing?
Cartman: I'm milking the dog. They make dog milk.

• Permalink: Cartman, what the hell are you doing? I'm milking the dog. The...
• Added: August 18, 2010

That's what it's called when you milk a dog; Beating it off. God, don't you guys know anything?

Cartman

• Permalink: That's what it's called when you milk a dog; Beating it off. God...
• Added: August 18, 2010

I think my boy does need to learn about sexual educationfrom the school.

Sheila

• Permalink: I think my boy does need to learn about sexual educationfrom the...
• Added: August 18, 2010

Ms. Choksondick: Here's a little picture of Herpes...
(She shows the picture and the girls scream.)
Ms. Choksondick: And here's a little Syphilis for you...
(She shows another picture and the girls scream again.)
Ms. Choksondick: That's right; unless you get your boyfriends to wear condums, you can AND will get these diseases!

• Permalink: Here's a little picture of Herpes... And here's a little Syp...
• Added: August 18, 2010

Cartman: That's right! You stay out!
Stan: You can't keep us out forever, you f[bleep]ing fatass! We'll be back as soon as Kyle's hemorrhoid is better!

• Permalink: That's right! You stay out! You can't keep us out forever, y...
• Added: August 18, 2010

Stan: Dude can you loan me 20 bucks for a new jacket?
Cartman: Ha! If you need money you can get a job Stan. No freeloaders are gonna take my hard earned cash.
Kyle: Your grandma left it to you, you didn't earn it!
Cartman: Didn't earn it? What about all those years I spent making grandma like me? All the wet spit filled kisses I put up with. The constant smell of asprin and pee. Don't tell me I didn't earn it you son of a bitch!

• Permalink: Dude can you loan me 20 bucks for a new jacket? Ha! If you nee...
• Added: August 18, 2010

Executor: (reading will) For you, Eric, I leave from my life savings, the sum of one million dollars, to be transferred to you immediately.
Cartman: Whosa-jigga-wha?

• Permalink: For you, Eric, I leave from my life savings, the sum of one mill...
• Added: August 18, 2010

(playing with a Jennifer Lopez doll)
Stan: There you are, Jennifer Lopez! You've been most uncooperative, Ms. Lopez.
Kyle: (voicing Jennifer Lopez) No, please! I promise I'll never make another album or movie!
Stan: It's too late for that, Ms. Lopez.
Kyle: (voicing Jennifer Lopez) Have mercy!

• Permalink: There you are, Jennifer Lopez! You've been most uncooperative, M...
• Added: August 18, 2010

(to God) Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama and, and you give Cartman a million dollars?

Kyle

• Permalink: Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama...
• Added: August 18, 2010

I'm afraid that the hemorrhoid has spread to his lungs.

Doctor

• Permalink: I'm afraid that the hemorrhoid has spread to his lungs.
• Added: August 18, 2010