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South-park

Linda: Butters can't come out and play, boys. He thinks it's funny to look like a jackass in his school pictures that I have to pay for!
Butters: Huh, but I told you mom. I didn't mean to look like a jackass! It just happened.

Kyle: (about Butters) Dude, that poor kid.
Clyde: Yeah, we got to remember to kick his ass tomorrow.

Yeah well I guess now we'll have to call him Ben Ass-fleck.

Cartman

(to Cartman) But you know, if you have completely lost your sense of humor, you can always become a writer for the show, Friends. (laughs)

Mr. Mackey

Afghani Kid #1: (about Stan and the others) They are not spies; they just came here to give us our goat back.
Afghani Kid #2: Screw them; they're evil Americans!
Afghani Kid #1: I know. But, if we don't help the innocent ones, then we are no better than the Americans are.
Afghani Kid #3: Help Americans? That doesn't make any sense!
Afghani Kid #1: Dude, we are speaking English right now. Does THAT make sense??

(Kyle tries to convince the Afghani people that they are not American)
Kyle: Greetings from Canada. Well boys, it's aboot time we get to our hoose in Canada, isn't it?
Cartman: Ey, what the hell are you talking about? I'm not a God damn Canadian, and neither are you!
Stan: Cartman, you stupid asshole!

Kyle: (after Stan puts up the miniature flag) Dude, I thought those Afghani kids talked to us about not liking America...
Stan: No, dude. America might have some problems, but it's our home. Our country. Our team. And if you don't want to root for your team, then just get the hell out of the stadium.
Kyle: Yeah.
Stan: Go America. Go Broncos.
Kyle: Yeah, go Broncos.
Cartman: Yeah.

Eh What's up, Bin Laden?

Cartman

Another high alert stands for terrorist activity this weekend. The government says that bad things are likely to happen. Meanwhile the world continues to back down from their support of the United States saying that they were really only kidding to begin with.

News Reporter
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