Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

Cartman: Now zap his hella-ass back to you're hella-universe!
Kyle: Stop saying hella!
Evil Stan: Thought you could get away from us, huh, Cartman?
Evil Cartman: Please!
Kyle: Leave him alone, butthole!
Evil Kyle: Shut your trap, kid!
Stan: Why don't you guys take our Cartman back? He's more like you guys anyway.
Cartman: Hey, you back-stabbing sellout!

Kyle: Dude, why is your store called The Indian Burial Ground Pet Store?
Shop Owner: Well, there was an Indian burial ground here before I bought it.
Stan: So you just built your store on top of Indian burial ground?!
Shop Owner: Oh, hell no! First, I dug up all the bodies, pissed on 'em, and then buried them again upside-down.
Kyle: Why?
Shop Owner: Why? I don't know. I was drunk.

Hi there folks. This is a heck of a storm out here. Thought maybe you could use some provisions. There's some candles and food in there. Ain't much but it should get you through the night. Take care folks; I've got other houses to get to.

Evil Cartman

Cartman: You guys are hella stupid.
Stan: Why do you keep saying 'hella", Cartman?
Cartman: 'Cuz I'm hella cool, that's why.

Missing people usually turn up hiding in someones bushes.

Officer Barbrady

Sharon: Stanley look who's here, Aunt Flo.
Aunt Flo: Hello Stanley, remember me?
Stan: Hi Aunt Flo.
Sharon: Now Stanley, Aunt Flo only visits once a month. Be nice.

Cartman: Man you guys are hella-stupid. If I had money I wouldn't give it to you assholes.
Kyle: Well at least he's back to normal.
Stan: Yea but we can't get a pumpkin so we can't enter the carving contest.
Kyle: It's OK. Kenny said he could get one.
Cartman: Oh how's Kenny gonna get one. He's hella-poor.
Stan: Why do you keep saying hella fat ass?
Cartman: 'Cause I'm hella-cool that's why.
Kyle: That's not cool!
Cartman: You guys are just hella-jealous.

In my world, Chef, you're skinny, white and and insurance salesman.
(Chef is in shock)

Evil Cartman

You guys a hella stupid,
You guys a hella lame,
You guys a hella dumb,
hella, hella, hella.

</i> Cartman
Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 20 in total