South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park

Chef: (after lights come back on) Is everybody okay?? That sounded like a gunshot!
Officer Barbrady: Oh, my god! Look!
(Everybody sees Mephesto's body, which has been shot at.)
Kenny: (mumbling) Oh my god, they killed Mephesto!
Kyle: You bastard!

I just thought of something! Oh no wait, that's subtraction.

Officer Barbrady

Greenfield: This story's got everything: people, furniture, talking! It's a real American story!

John Walsh: We seem to have lost our link up to the South Park crew, so I guess we'll going to our feature movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Narrator: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Was it- Jimbo? Mr. Garrison? Chef?

Cartman: Hey, who's screwing with the lights?!
Narrator: Who IS screwing with the lights? Is it: Barbrady? Or Jimbo? Or the 1991 Denver Broncos?
Cartman: (to Kenny) That is really starting to piss me off!

Greenfield: Great! We'll get started with auditions immediately. What part should we cast first?
Announcer 1: Who will the director cast first? Will it be Mr. Garrison? Officer Barbrady, Chef?

Mayor: My God, what a harrowing tale of human drama this is. All of us doing what we must to survive.
Jimbo: It is amazing what people can do under stress. Just look at the pyramids. Nobody knows how they built those. Or who.
Narrator: Who built the pyramids? Was it- the Babylonians? Officer Barbrady? Samaritans?

Cartman: (after learning who his father is) Oh... Man, this is ****ing weak...
Stan: Dude! You're a big fatass, and your mom's a hermapholite!
Mrs. Cartman: I'm sorry I never told you, Eric... I just thought, maybe it would be a little shocking to you.
Cartman: (sarcastically) Oh, well, gee whiz! You think so, Mom??
Mephesto: Well, that's that. Thank you all for playing.
Cartman: No no, wait a minute! Wait! If... If she's my dad, then...who's my mom?!
Announcer: Who is Eric Cartman's mother? Is it: Mrs. Crabtree? Sheila Broflovski? The Mayor?
Cartman: AAH, FORGET IT!!!

Jimbo: Well, looks like we're not going anywhere for a long time.
Director: We're snowed in?
Mayor: Yes! We're trapped!
Mr. Garrison: Like sailors on a submarine...
Mayor: My god, this is the worst storm I have ever seen!
Director's Assistant: Oh, I have to get out of here; I haven't eaten since breakfast.
Officer Barbrady: Yeah, I'm getting kind of hungry, too!
Jimbo: I hope you all don't realize what we're facing here... Our only option might be to...eat each other to stay alive.
(Everybody in the building gasps in horror.)
Director: Uh... It's only been, like, four hours... Aren't you people resorting to cannablism a little quickly?
Jimbo: That's a while to live, Mr. Director. I don't eat plenty, but if some of us must die so the rest can stay alive so be it.
Mayor: But...how do we decide who?
Jimbo: Well, we'll draw straws...
Director: Now, wait just a minute! You've all had a big breakfast! Can't you people live without eating for a while??
Jimbo: Calm down, soldier! We need every person here to keep his head! Barbrady, fetch some straws.
Director: Well, who the hell made you the boss, anyway??
Announcer: Who the hell made Jimbo boss? Was it: Officer Barbrady? Chef? Mr. Garrison?

Displaying quotes 13 - 21 of 21 in total

South Park Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Dr. Doctor: We must split up into two teams: Team A and Team B. Team A will consist of myself, Stan, Kyle, Eric, Chef, and Nurse Goodly. Team B will consist of Kenny. Now, listen closely, Team B. Your goal will be to turn on the backup generator. To do this you must brave the storm outside and get into this sewage duct. Meanwhile, Team A will go to the holding area, here where there is a television, and some cocoa. We will drink the cocoa and watch family programming until Team B makes it through the sewage duct. By that time, Team B, remember that's you Kenny, should reach the outer core of the generator. It will be a cold and dangerous climb to the top, and there could be velociraptors here. Once you reach the top, you should be able to get a clear view from this window of us drinking cocoa and watching television. Then, you could proceed down into the generator, and power it on. Are there any questions?
Cartman: No, that sounds pretty sweet to me.
Dr. Doctor: Great, then, let's do it. Go, Team!
Kenny: (muffled) Huh?

Jimbo: Alright, so far everyone has a long piece of straw. We'll keep drawing
(Jimbo picks a piece of straw.)
Jimbo: (relieved) Whew!
(Mr. Garrison picks a piece of straw.)
Mr. Garrison: (relieved) Whew!
(Officer Barbrady looks at the last piece of straw in his hands.)
Officer Barbrady: Whew.
Jimbo: Wait a minute! Where the hell is the short one??
Officer Barbrady: The short what?
Jimbo: Damn it, Barbrady! When you draw straws, you're supposed to have one of them short! That's how you decide who loses!
Officer Barbrady: That's not how I played it
Mr. Garrison: Oooh, can we hurry this up? My stomach is growling

× Close Ad