Debbie: Why do guys care so much about sex?
Carl: Because it feels awesome.
Debbie: How would you know?
Carl: If my hand's anything like the real thing, it's off the chain.

• Permalink: If my hand's anything like the real thing, it's off the chain.
• Added: March 16, 2014

I prefer carcinogens to endorphins.

Lip

• Permalink: I prefer carcinogens to endorphins.
• Added: March 16, 2014

Hey Mike if you give me another chance, I promise not to screw your brother or commit a felony!

Fiona

• Permalink: Hey Mike if you give me another chance, I promise not to screw your brother or commit a felony!
• Added: March 16, 2014

Carl: How can you tell when you're in love with someone?
Debbie: When you wanna rip out someone's heart and stomp on it until it's soup.

• Permalink: When you wanna rip out someone's heart and stomp on it until it's soup.
• Added: March 16, 2014

Mickey: You are the worst f**king pimp I've ever seen.
Kev: Is that supposed to be some kind of insult?

• Permalink: Is that supposed to be some kind of insult?
• Added: March 16, 2014

Frank: Take me to The Alibi.
Sammi: The bar.
Frank: I've always been comfortable there.

• Permalink: I've always been comfortable there.
• Added: March 16, 2014

I try to make it a point of not banging my roommate's girlfriend.

Lip

• Permalink: I try to make it a point of not banging my roommate's girlfriend.
• Added: March 16, 2014