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George: I went from having orgasms immediately to taking forever. You could do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm. I never had a nice, medium orgasm.
Jerry: I never had a really good pickle.

Tor: No. You know, I am not a business man. I'm a holistic healer. It's a calling, it's a gift. You see, it's in the best interest of the medical profession that you remain sick. You see, that insures good business. You're not a patient. You're a customer.
Jerry: And you're not a doctor, but you play one in real life.

George: It's all over for me. In fact...let's end it right now. Jerry, kill me, kill me now. I'm begging you. Let's just get it over with. Be a pal. Just take the pillow and put it over my face.
Jerry: Well, uh...What? Kinda like this?
George (muffled) What are you doing?! What are you, crazy?!
Elaine: Jerry!
Jerry: Elaine! What are you doing here?

A kiss? With the tongue? The glossa with the bumps and the papillae? Yuck, I don't think so.

Elaine

I'm an eggplant!

George

I'm gonna slip him a "mickey."

George

George: What about like an announcer? Like a color man? You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game?
Jerry: Yeah. Yeah. You make good comments.
George: So? What about that?
Jerry: Well, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers and, ya know, people in broadcasting.
George: That's really not fair.

Jerry: The best revenge is living well.
George: There's no chance of that.

You got a "mickey" source?

Jerry

Newman: Kramer!
Kramer: Oh! That's Newman.
Newman: I'm on the roof!
Kramer: Well? What are you waiting for?
Kramer: You wanna shoot some pool tonight?
Newman: I can't, I'm goin' to the movies.

Jerry: My guys don't know your guys! You can't just lock 'em all in the same machine together! They'll start a riot!Kramer: Have you ever met my guys?Jerry: No, I can't say as I have.Kramer: We-ell!

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This is just like what they do in the movies.

George
Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 196 in total

Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes

Just make love to that wall pervert.

Kramer

(to Jerry) You're eating too much dairy.

Tor