Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes
My name is Bill. I might be the last person you ever see.Bill
- Permalink: My name is Bill. I might be the last person you ever see.
(to George) You're wearing the chocolate shirt!Jerry
- Permalink: You're wearing the chocolate shirt!
Oh, fire engines, ambulances all along the runway. And then, when we landed safely, they all seemed so...disappointed.Jerry
- Permalink: Oh, fire engines, ambulances all along the runway. And then, whe...
Yeah, I eat the whole apple. The core, stem, seeds, everything.Kramer
- Permalink: Yeah, I eat the whole apple. The core, stem, seeds, everything.
(to Jerry) I'm offering you 53 channels, movies, sports, nudity, and it's free for life!Kramer
- Permalink: I'm offering you 53 channels, movies, sports, nudity, and it's f...
George: Someday, before I die, mark my words I'm gonna tell that woman exactly what I think of her. I'll never be able to forgive myself until I do.
Jerry: And if you do?
George: I still won't be able to forgive myself, but at least it won't be about this.
- Permalink: Someday, before I die, mark my words I'm gonna tell that woman e...
Man, it's the ninetiesit's Hammer time!Kramer
- Permalink: Man, it's the ninetiesit's Hammer time!
Jerry: Explain to me how this baby shower thing works.
Elaine: What do you wanna know?
Jerry: Well, I mean, does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?
- Permalink: Explain to me how this baby shower thing works. What do you wa...
Every woman on the face of the Earth has complete control of my life and yet, I want them all. Is that irony?George
- Permalink: Every woman on the face of the Earth has complete control of my ...
Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.Jerry
- Permalink: Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason...
George: Bust of Nelson Rockefeller?Jerry: Too gubernatorial.
- Permalink: Too gubernatorial.
Kramer: What are you guys going to do today?Elaine: This... and that.Jerry: And the other!
- Permalink: And the other!
(George, Jerry and Elaine are sitting at a table. Jerry and George are wearing baseball uniforms.)
George: Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard of.
Jerry: It's never happened to me before.
Elaine: I remember saying to myself, "Why is Jerry so far off the base?"
Jerry: I'll have to live with this shame for the rest of my life.
(George consults his stat sheet of the game)
George: And then in the fifth inning, why did you take off on the pop fly?
Jerry: I thought there were two outs.
Elaine: I couldn't believe it when I saw you running. (laughing) I thought maybe they had changed the rules or something.
Jerry: It was the single worst moment of my life.
George: What about Sharon Besser?
Jerry: Oh, well, of course. Nineteen seventy three.
Elaine: Makes you wonder, though, doesn't it?
Jerry: Wonder about what?
Elaine: You know (looking up) the spirit world.
Jerry: You think Manya showed up during the game and put a hex on me?
Elaine: I never saw anyone play like that.
Jerry: But I went to the funeral.
Elaine: Yeah, but that doesn't make up for killing her.
George: Maybe Manya missed the funeral because she was off visiting another galaxy that day.
Jerry: Don't you think she would've heard I was there?
George: Not necessarily.
Jerry: Who figures an immigrant's gonna have a pony?
- Permalink: Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard of. It's never h...
Jerry: I hate anybody who had a pony growing up.
Manya: I had a pony!
Jerry: Well, I didn't mean a pony per se
Manya: When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony. So, what's wrong with that?
Jerry: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just expressing
Helen: Should we have coffee? Who's having coffee?
Manya: He was a beautiful pony. And I loved him!
Jerry: Well, I'm sure you did. Who wouldn't love a pony? Who wouldn't love a person who had a pony?
Manya: You! You said so!
- Permalink: I hate anybody who had a pony growing up. I had a pony! Well...