George: If anything happens here can I count on you?
Jerry: What?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I want to get into a rumble.

So, we start to fool around and I begin to perceive this impending intestinal requirement whose needs are going to surpass by great length anything in the sexual realm.

George

You're never gonna stop crime, we should at least be clean.

George

I tell her you not here, she say curse word, I hang up.

Bruce

Jerry: Excuse me. Can I get something to drink?
Flight Attendant: I'm afraid not.
Jerry: What's with this airline? What, are you cutting out the drinks now?

(to Jerry) I'm offering you 53 channels, movies, sports, nudity, and it's free for life!

Kramer

Cable boy. Cable boy. What have you done to my little cable boy?

Kramer

Look, will you at least let me bring the guy over? He's an amazing man. He's a Russian immigrant. He escaped the Gulag! He's like the Sakharov of cable guys.

Kramer

Jerry: What you're suggesting is illegal.
Kramer: It's not illegal!
Jerry: It's against the law.
Kramer: Well, yeah.

Red shirt! Red shirt! That's the red shirt!

Jerry

Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease.
Jerry: I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome?
Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease.

Elaine, who catered this, Sears?

Leslie

Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes

Mr. Benes: Are you working?
Elaine: Yeah, I'm reading manuscripts for Pendant Publishing. I told you ten times.
Mr. Benes: Pendant, those bastards!

(about the marathon) Ah, what's to see? A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya and 20,000 losers.

Jerry