If I don't get this guy on a plane to Seattle and out of my life, I'm gonna kill him, and everyone who tries to stop me.

Elaine

They'll probably kill his family over this.

Jerry

Jerry: Anywhere in the city?
George: Anywhere in the city - I'll tell you the best public toilet.
Jerry: Okay Fifty-fourth and Sixth?
George: Sperry Rand Building. 14th floor, Morgan Apparel. Mention my name - she'll give you the key.
Jerry: Alright Sixty-fifth and Tenth.
George: (Scoffs) Are you kidding? Lincoln Center. Alice Tully Hall, the Met. Magnificent facilities.

I never knew I could drive like that. I was going faster than I've ever gone before, and yet, it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. I was seeing three and four moves ahead, weaving in and out of lanes like an Olympic skier on a gold medal run. I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics. At Queens Boulevard, I took the shoulder. At Jewel Avenue, I used the median. I had it. I was there. And then, I hit the Van Wyck. They say no one's ever beaten the Van Wyck, but gentlemen, I tell you this I came as close as anyone ever has. And if it hadn't been for that five-car pile-up on Rockaway Boulevard, that numbskull would be on a plane for Seattle right now instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.

Elaine

Jerry: Are you still using that same old alarm clock?
Elaine: Oh no no, I bought a new one today. It's got everything! You oversleep more than ten minutes, a hand comes out and slaps you in the face.

He's a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts.

Elaine

Cats run away all the time. You know, my aunt, she had a cat. Ran away. Showed up three years later. You never know. They've got things in their brains where they remember where they're from. Unless, of course, somebody else starts feeding him. See, that's what you've gotta worry about.

Kramer

Who left the door open?

Antonio

Eddie: Watch where you're going.
Antonio: Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going, okay?

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