George: Is it my imagination, or do really good-looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else?
Elaine: We don't walk that fast.
I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.Kramer
Jerry: We'll give the keys to Elaine.
Jerry: Yeah. You're a woman. Men won't hit a woman.
Elaine: Oh, they won't?
Jerry: Not if they don't know you.
Jerry: Hey, what's going on?
Angry Woman: Some jerk parked in the handicap spot, so this woman in a wheel chair had to wheel up this incline, and half way up her batteries gave out, and she rolled backwards into the wall. They had to take her to St. Elizabeth's...
Jerry: Is she okay?
Angry Woman I don't know. We're just waiting here for the owner of this car to show up. He may not get out alive. Lazy bum! Taking up a handicap spot? He's gonna pay?
Jerry: Sons of bitches.
Am I a hipster-doofus?Kramer
This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped.Salesman
She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ... except for the walking.Kramer
Make sure we dont forget where the car is parked.Kramer
Jerry: Your father got arrested? What for?
George: Parking in a handicap spot. Right in the middle of his United Volunteers meeting. When he got back, he chased after me with a baseball bat.
George: I hate this mall, there are never any spaces here...
Kramer: Why don't you park in front of the hydrent?
George: What if there's a fire?
Kramer: Now what are the chances of that?
Jerry: Hey, I've never smelled in my life, buddy.
Restaurateur: Really? Well, I can smell you now.
Jerry: That's from the car!
Elaine: When you're with a guy, and he tells you he has to get up early, what does that mean?
Jerry: It means he's lying.