Jerry: We'll give the keys to Elaine.
Elaine: Me?
Jerry: Yeah. You're a woman. Men won't hit a woman.
Elaine: Oh, they won't?
Jerry: Not if they don't know you.

Am I a hipster-doofus?

Kramer

George: I hate this mall, there are never any spaces here...
Kramer: Why don't you park in front of the hydrent?
George: What if there's a fire?
Kramer: Now what are the chances of that?

(as George picks up a broken piece of his father's car) You know, a lot of these scratches will buff right out...

Jerry

Make sure we dont forget where the car is parked.

Kramer

This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped.

Salesman

I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.

Kramer

She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ... except for the walking.

Kramer

George: Is it my imagination, or do really good-looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else?
Elaine: We don't walk that fast.

Jerry: Hey, what's going on?
Angry Woman: Some jerk parked in the handicap spot, so this woman in a wheel chair had to wheel up this incline, and half way up her batteries gave out, and she rolled backwards into the wall. They had to take her to St. Elizabeth's...
Jerry: Is she okay?
Angry Woman I don't know. We're just waiting here for the owner of this car to show up. He may not get out alive. Lazy bum! Taking up a handicap spot? He's gonna pay?
Jerry: Sons of bitches.

Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!

Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must've had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry, it's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: So, when somebody has B.O., the O usually stays with the B. Once the B leaves, the O goes with it.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 941 in total
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