Maj-Jongg Lady: (referring to George) Frank, the important thing is, he didn't get hurt.
Frank Costanza: No it isn't!

George: Is it my imagination, or do really good-looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else?
Elaine: We don't walk that fast.

Jerry: We'll give the keys to Elaine.
Elaine: Me?
Jerry: Yeah. You're a woman. Men won't hit a woman.
Elaine: Oh, they won't?
Jerry: Not if they don't know you.

Jerry: Your father got arrested? What for?
George: Parking in a handicap spot. Right in the middle of his United Volunteers meeting. When he got back, he chased after me with a baseball bat.

She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ... except for the walking.

Kramer

I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.

Kramer

Jerry: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room.
Kramer: No, no. My car's not running.
(George comes out from the bathroom)
Jerry: What about your father's car?
George: No, no, no. Out of the question. I was over there today. He's got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood. I know he's not gonna wanna move.
Jerry: Are you serious?
George: You don't know what that spot means to him. Once he gets it, he doesn't go out for weeks.

(as George picks up a broken piece of his father's car) You know, a lot of these scratches will buff right out...

Jerry

Am I a hipster-doofus?

Kramer

George: I hate this mall, there are never any spaces here...
Kramer: Why don't you park in front of the hydrent?
George: What if there's a fire?
Kramer: Now what are the chances of that?

Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!

Oh, this isn't even BO. This is beyond BO. It's BBO.

George
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 941 in total

Seinfeld Quotes

Pipe down, chorus boy.

Mr. Benes

(on Kramer's chance of winning the contest) You'll be out before the check comes!

Jerry
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