Toasting makes me uncomfortable, but toast I love. Never start the day without a good piece of toast. In fact, let's toast to toast.


(to Jerry) You're a very bad man.


Elaine: Who'd you punch?
Kramer: Mickey Mantle.

(to Jerry) Would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm askin'. This woman thinks I'm very funny and now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.


Jerry's whole life revolves around Superman and cereal!


I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!


(to his annoying colleague Pat) No, I'm not riffing. I'm ignoring. Do you understand the difference?


(describing George) A short guy with glasses, looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head.

The Ticket Lady

(describing Jerry) Like, a horse face, big teeth, and a pointed nose.

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