Where is Babu? What happened to Babu? Show me Babu!

Babu's brother

I have no funny friends. I'm the funny one. El-Clowno!

George

Why don't we just say give us the unhappy, the sad, the slow, the ugly, people that can't drive, if they have trouble merging, if they can't stay in their lane, if they don't signal, if they can't parallel park, if they're sneezing, if they're stuffed up, if they're clogged, if they have bad penmanship, don't return calls, if they have dandruff, food between their teeth, if they have bad credit, if they have no credit, missed a spot shaving.

Jerry

(describing Elaine) A pretty woman, you know, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan.

George

No, I don't want to go to a mini-plex multi-theater! It's not a theater, it's like a room where they bring in POW's to show them propaganda films.

Elaine

Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.

Elaine

George, you're sappin' my strength.

Elaine

(to his annoying colleague Pat) No, I'm not riffing. I'm ignoring. Do you understand the difference?

Jerry

I don't want a movie hot dog. I want a Papaya King hot dog!

Kramer

(describing Jerry) A guy who's about five foot eleven, he's got uh, a big head and flared nostrils.

Kramer

I have been going to the movies for 25 years and nobody ever asks me for the stub.

George

(describing George) A short guy with glasses, looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head.

The Ticket Lady
Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 941 in total

Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

George: Fish. What do they do?Elaine: What do you do?

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