George: What kind of a person are you?
Jerry: I think I'm pretty much like you, only successful.

George: Two tickets to "Guys And Dolls"! I'm gonna go with you!
Jerry: "Guys And Dolls"? Isn't that a lavish, Broadway musical?
George: It's "Guys And Dolls," not "Guys And Guys."

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

</i> Jerry and/or George

I've been outed, and I was never in!

Jerry

We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Jerry

I'm Buck Naked!

George

You can do better than me. You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me. I'm no good!

George

(explaining how he and Jerry met) Actually it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes and Jerry was spotting me. I kept slipping and burning my thighs and then finally I slipped and fell on Jerry's head. We've been close ever since.

George

Ya know, there are tribes in Indonesia where if you keep your coat on in somebody's house, the families go to war!

</i> George
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